One Night
by Iphigenia Black
Summary: Sirius Black and Dorcas Meadowes were friends. Only friends. But then, one night changes everything. SBOC
1. A Night to remember

Disclaimer: Honestly. If I would own Harry Potter, would I kill Sirius? See! Therefore: NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: This is my first Fan Fiction and English is not my mother tongue. So, please, no flames. But PLEASE tell me what you think. I have some ideas where to go with this, but it doesn't make any sense continuing this, if you think it sucks.

* * *

**One Night**

It was a cold night for May. The rain hit the windows and the fog that had lingered everywhere during the day, still hadn't disappeared. A cloaked figure hurried down the street. It stopped in front of a small cottage. The figure knocked. The voices that could be heard inside, stopped instantly.

A male voice asked anxiously: "Who is it?"

The cloaked figure answered: "It is me, Remus John Lupin. I am a werewolf, nicknamed Moony. Your's is Prongs and you can transform into a stag."

"Alright, Moony. Come in.", said a relieved James Potter as he opened the door to let his old friend into the house.

Remus looked pale and took off his soaked cloak. Inside there were sitting four people, who looked as if they were having fun. Sirius Black, handsome as ever with his black hair falling into his eyes. James, with his unruly black hair that stuck out in all directions, walked towards his wife Lily who was lying on the couch, tightly wrapped into a blanket. She was seven month pregnant now and her belly got bigger every day. She smiled at Remus.

The fourth person in the room was Dorcas Meadowes who was sitting next to Lily. Her silky blonde hair and her deep blue eyes made her look like an angel. That's what most guys would say anyways. She had been one of the prettiest girls at school though not many boys had been able to get a date with her. She had been Lily's best friend at Hogwarts and that hadn't changed during the last two years. The four of them had been looking at photo albums and remembering their time at school.

The mood changed abruptly when they saw Remus' expression.

"What's the matter, Moony?", Sirius asked whose grin faded quickly.

"They got Benji Fenwick!", answered Remus trying hard to keep his voice steady.

They all stared at him in shock. Lily started trembeling. James rushed towards her.

"Lily, calm down. You know what the Healers at St. Mungo's said.", James said soothingly. But he had difficulty on his own to be calm.

"How….when….who…?", was all Dorcas managed to say, her eyes horror-strucken.

"Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange.", said Remus. "And rumour has it Bellatrix was also involved."

Sirius growled and clenched his fists.

"They basically blew him up.", Remus continued. "We…only…found…bits…of…him…", while saying this, he choked.

So did the others.

James had trouble calming down Lily. And Dorcas was on the verge of a breakdown. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair while she sobbed into his shoulders.

For a while nobody said anything. Only Dorcas' and Lily's sobbing could be heard. Remus got up again.

"I have to go now. Inform the others." With that he left.

"I think I should get going now, too.", said Sirius. "I'll take you home, Dorcas."

"No", Dorcas said with tear stained eyes. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Okay, you can stay at my place tonight.", Sirius replied, still stroking her hair.

Dorcas wiped the tears out of her eyes and got up.

Both bade their friends good-bye and apparated directly into Sirius' flat.

Sirius saw that Dorcas was still shaking, so he scooped her up and carried her into the living room. She had her arms flung around his neck and didn't let go when he placed her carefully on the couch.

"Hey.", Sirius tried to calm her down. He tucked a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear. He slid a hand up to her chin and cupped her face. She looked him in the eyes.

He never realized how beautiful her eyes were. They were so deep blue that you could lose yourself in them.

Sirius brought his face closer to hers and when their lips met, he was forgetting everything around him.

With her eyes closed, Dorcas pulled him closer and didn't want this kiss to end.

Suddenly Sirius pulled away and looked at her questioningly.

She nodded.

He pressed his lips on hers. The passion grew.

He ran his hand down her spine and went under her shirt.

She still had her arms around his neck pushing herself against him.

Sirius pulled her up from the couch and took off her shirt. Her upper body was perfect. The breasts had the perfect size for her delicate frame.

Dorcas now fiddled with buttons of his shirt. When she finally managed to get it off, she let out a soft moan into his mouth. He was very well built and now she understood perfectly why every girl at school had been craving for him.

They moved towards the bedroom still not parting their lips.

Sirius pusched Dorcas down on the bed and began sliding off her skirt.

There was no going back and they both knew it.

* * *

The mist and the rain from the previous night had disappeared. The sun was just starting to rise. The day promised to be a warm pre-summer day.

When the sun tickled her nose, Dorcas opened her eyes. Slightly frowning.

Where the hell am I, she thought.

Then the events of last night came back to her.

Remus telling them about Benji's death … Sirius holding her tight, stroking her hair… taking her shirt off…wait, what?

She abruptly turned around.

Sirius was still sleeping. His well defined chest moving up and down. He was as naked as she was and it hit her how far they had gone last night.

She tried hard to remember if they had used any protection, but she couldn't.

She bit her lip and got up as quiet as possible clutching the sheet and wrapping it tightly around her.

I have to get out of here before he wakes up, Dorcas thought.

While collecting her clothes that were spread all over the room. She looked at him again. A smile crept across his face.

He probably remembers what we did, she thought, Oh Merlin.

Not that it hadn't been great, but she regretted it.

Dorcas knew that Sirius had a commitment problem and she never wanted to be one of those stupid girls that fell for him, because he'd only break her heart.

While she got dressed, she decided that this night hadn't meant anything. She would simply forget about what happened. Yeah, that sounded good. He would do the same anyways.

She just wanted to apparate back to her place before he had a chance to talk to her. And with a crack she disappeared.

A couple of minutes later, Sirius stirred.

Last night had been one of the best he'd had so far. And that definitely meant something. A broad grin spread across his face when he remembered the spots he touched on her perfect body. Her moaning still rang in his ears.

He reached his hand over to touch her again. Maybe they could start the morning the way they ended the evening.

But he only felt the sheets of his bed. When he opened his eyes he saw that the bed was empty.

"Dorcas?", Sirius called out.

But no answer came. He stood up getting his boxers on, frowning.

He went into his living room, noticing that her clothes were gone.

Sirius couldn't help but feel disappointed. The last night had meant more to him than he would probably admit opnely.

He would talk to her about it – later. The rumbling in his stomach grew louder. So he decided he would have breakfast first, then check on James and Lily and after that he would talk to Dorcas.

Maybe he should start getting a serious relationship. Seeing as James and Lily were so happy together and starting their little family.

He wondered where he would be ten years down the road. Maybe he would have a wife by his side and a child on his own.

Little did he know….


	2. Explanations

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. I wish I'd own Sirius though.

A/N: As a Christmas present I decided to give you the next chapter. It's shorter than the first and kind of meant to be a transtion-thing. you know what I mean. Thanks a lot to **Noc007** and** AnneRG** for leaving a review. You guys really made my day. Have a Merry Christmas and leave a review for me!!

**Explanations**

After Dorcas arrived in her flat, she took a very long shower.When she walked out of the shower, wearing only a towel, she saw James' head in the flames of her fireplace.

Her grinned sheepishly at her.

"Well, don't you look sexy today."

Dorcas rolled her eyes, but smiled nontheless.

"Don't let Lily hear you!"

"Just wanted to tell you, that we're having an emergency meeting of the Order at our place.", James said looking very serious now.

"Okay. I'll just get ready and then I'll floo over.", Dorcas answered.

Great, she thought, now I have to face Sirius already.

Upon arriving, she was greeted by Lily who looked as if she didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Her eyes were red and swollen and her hair was very frizzy. Dorcas gave her a tight hug.

"How much sleep did you get last night?", she asked.

"Not much.", Lily answered quietly.

"Come on, let's get you a little more presentable.", Dorcas said and shoved her friend in the bathroom.

"You look like you slept rather good.", Lily said looking curious.

"Er…", Dorcas began blushing.

"What did you do with Sirius?", Lily wanted to know.

"We…er…, well…we…", Dorcas stuttered. "we shagged last night.", she concluded quietly, while brushing her friend's hair.

Lily looked at her with big eyes.

"I thought you guys were just friends.", Lily said, a small smile now playing on her lips.

"We were…I mean…we are!", Dorcas stated not looking into the redhead's eyes. "We just…oh…I don't know."

"So, did he live up to his reputation?", Lily asked winking.

Dorcas groaned: "Hell, he did."

Lily started to giggle now.

"Not funny.", the blonde said, nudging her friend's shoulder. "But he does know what to do with his hands and lips. But you know how he is. It was just a one-night-stand. Nothing more."

Lily sighed: "Are you sure?"

"Yes.", Dorcas said firmly. "He won't see more in it either."

"Yeah, probably.", Lily answered. "Let's go, I think I heard the others arriving. Though you've got to help me up with my big belly."

Lily looked down on herself when she stood. "Great!", she muttered. "I can't even see my feet anymore."

Dorcas chuckled.

"You wait, until you're pregnant.", Lily warned, though she was still smiling.

Both women entered the living room. James was talking quietly with Remus and Frank Longbottom, Edgar Bones and Elphias Doge were enganged in a serious discussion. James looked up and smiled at his wife.

"You feeling better?", he asked her and planted a soft kiss on her mouth.

"Yeah.", Lily answered.

James smiled and put a hand on her belly.

"And how is James jr. doing?"

Lily glared at him: "Our Baby is fine and we will NOT name our son JAMES JR. !"

Instead of answering, James captured Lily's lips again.

"Oi, get a room, will you.", said a voice from the fireplace.

Sirius just stepped out of the flames, his eyes twinkeling. A broad grin spread across his face when he saw Dorcas, who was leaning against the door frame. Her blonde hair hung loosely on her back. She was wearing tight jeans and a fitted top. His eyes wandered from her lower neckline to her hips. Oh, how he would just love to touch her perfect body again. The last night was definitly screaming for a continuation.

Dorcas noticed Sirius' eyes lingering on her. So did Lily.

"You know, we have a guest room uptairs.", she muttered.

Dorcas blushed, but before she could answer, Sirius came over.

"Good Morning, Dorcas.", he said softly.

James looked bewildered from Dorcas to Sirius. But Lily, sensing the danger, pulled her husband away towards Remus.

"Morning, Sirius.", Dorcas said stiffly.

"Can we talk?", Sirius asked. "Alone?"

"Sure.", she answered.

They moved into the hall and closed the door to the living room.

"About last night –", Sirius started.

"Forget it.", Dorcas interrupted.

"What?", he looked at her incredulously.

"It was a mistake.", she continued not looking into his eyes. "It shouldn't have happened. But it did. And I think it would be the best if we considered this as a one-night-stand."

Sirius lifted her head with his fingers under her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Do you really think that last night was just a one-night-stand for me?", he asked her quietly.

He is way too close, Dorcas thought panicking.

She could feel his breath on her face and couldn't but shuddering at their closeness.

When his lips brushed her's, she closed her eyes automatically and parted her lips to enjoy his kiss.

The kiss grew more intense now. Sirius brought his left hand up to carress her cheek, while his right hand traced alongside her upper body and came to a rest on her lower back.

Dorcas knew she shoudn't be doing this, but she couldn't stop herself. Her hands rested on his chest, but moved to his shoulders as Sirius pulled her closer.

Lily's offer came to her mind and she was almost ready to take it, when –

"What in Merlin's name are you two doing here?"

What a cliffhanger!! I'll try to update within the next week.


	3. Facing Reality

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!! It took a little bit, but my sister had to approve first. Hope you like. I wonder if you expected this end. But this story is not over yet!!! Don't forget to review and make me happy!!! Happy New Year's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Facing Reality**

"_What in Merlin's name are you two doing here?"_

Sirius und Dorcas jumped apart breathing heavily and saw James standing in the doorway of the living room.

He looked at them incredulously.

Before any of them could say something, Lily appeared.

"Did you find them – oh", she stopped when she saw Dorcas and Sirius panting. "You can explain later. The meeting is starting."

She grapped Dorcas' wrist and pulled her into the living room.

James had a questioning expression on his face, but Sirius mumbled "Later."

When everyone was seated, the meeting began. Dorcas sat far away from Sirius and was avoiding his gaze.

Stupid me, she thought biting her nails. Why did I do that? Now he thinks we can repeat last night. That wasn't what I wanted. Oh Merlin, what am I going to do now?

"- Dorcas?"

Her head shot up. Damn. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had missed the beginning of the meeting.

Frank Longbottom looked at her expectantly.

"I…I'm sorry, Frank. I've been a little out of it."

He nodded sympathetically.

"You've been close to Benjy, haven't you?"

"Yeah, kind of."

She felt guilty now. Benjy was her cousin, two years older than her and all she could think about was the night she spent with Sirius. Dorcas looked around the living room. There weren't many people here. But it was still early in the morning and some of the members had been doing nightshifts for the Order or working. Dumbledore wasn't here either, but he had a school to run and Alice Longbottom was over seven months pregnant now as well as Lily and Lily told her that poor Alice had problems with her swollen feet and was ordered to lie down as much as possible. It sucked being pregnant. Swollen feet, a huge belly and back pain. If I ever want a child I'll adopt one, Dorcas thought.

"- tomorrow at dawn.", Frank concluded.

Damn, I haven't paid attention again, she thought biting her lip.

"The funeral for Benjy.", Lily whispered in her ear.

"Thanks.", Dorcas muttered back.

She forced herself to listen now. Though it was quite hard.

Mad-Eye Moody told them how Steve Townsend, the Minister of Magic, still wouldn't budge from his If-we-ignore-them-they-will-eventually-leave position. Merlin, this guy was a total idiot. He was scared to do anything against Voldemort and his Deatheaters. That's probably why he was still alive. The last Minister had been good. But he was killed only three months after he took office. Voldemort himself murdered him.

The meeting was rather short, because most people had to get to work. Dorcas was on holidays. Her first in almost a year. The last one was for Lily's and James' wedding in July of last year. But she couldn't relax during the next week, because she had work to do for the Order. This war was really getting on everyone. She hadn't seen her mom since Christmas. Her dad had died three years ago.

"Are you staying for breakfast?", Lily pulled her out of her thoughts.

"I'd love to.", Dorcas answered. "I don't think I have any food in my kitchen left."

While she helped Lily out of her chair and walked with her into the kitchen, James looked at his best friend.

"Am I now getting an answer to what's been going on in the hall earlier?", he asked.

"You saw what happened.", Sirius answered.

"Yeah, you guys were rather obvious.", James started chuckeling. "Did something happened last night after you two left?"

"Well, how should I put this,", Sirius began. "We shagged."

James startet choking.

"You did what?"

"You heard me, we shagged."

"You realize who we are talking about?", James asked. "How come she let you in her pants?"

"I have no idea.", his friend answered truthfully. "But last night was awesome. I mean, it was something special."

"So, you decided to repeat it this morning?", James said winking.

"Kind of. Until we were so rudely interrupted.", Sirius looked at him pointedly. "Merlin, I just want to shove her against the wall and –"

"Thanks, I'm getting the general idea.", James interrupted. "So, you actually think about a relationship?"

"It might sound absolutely incredible, but yes."

"But you realize that when you break up with her, your friendship will be over. And everything will be awkward between you guys.", James pointed out.

"Oh.", Sirius' face fell. "I haven't even thought about that."

"Well, I've got to get to work or Moody will bite my head off.", James said. "And you should hurry as well, though you might want to sort that out with Dorcas before."

He left Sirius standing in the living room to say good-bye to his wife and then he stepped into the fireplace, smiling encouragingly at Sirius and said "Ministry of Magic".

Sirius stayed in the living room thinking about James' words.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Dorcas and Lily were eating breakfast.

"Your breakfast is definitly the best, I've ever eaten.", Dorcas said taking another large bite of the pancake before her.

"Thanks.", Lily said. "But do you mind explaining what happened between Sirius and you in the hallway?"

Dorcas swallowed hard.

"Er…", she began blushing. "I told him it was only a one-night-stand for me, but apparently he didn't think so. Because then he started kissing me…"

"By the look of both of you, he was snogging you senseless.", Lily said buttering her fourth toast.

Docas put her fork down and looked into her friend's eyes.

"I really like Sirius. But only as a friend. Last night only happened because I was an emotional disaster and I haven't any dates or sex in the past months. I just needed that last night. And I really don't know what happened this morning."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Then you should tell him that.", Lily said breaking the silence.

When they finished breakfast they walked into the living room again. There, Sirius was sitting in one of the armchairs deep in thought. He looked up when he heard both women. Lily excused herself to the bathroom leaving them alone.

"Listen Sirius.", Dorcas started. "I really like you – as a friend. I mean, last night was amazing. But it was just one night. And I think we should leave it that way."

Sirius nodded slowly. "That's probably the best. We shouldn't let this night ruin our friendship. Though I have to say that I'll definitly remember that one." He was grinning now but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He got up. "Well, I have to go now or Moody will kill me." He placed a kiss on her neck that send shivers down her spine. "Sorry, couldn't resist." He turned around and flooed to the Ministry.


	4. Revelation

Disclaimer: How often do I have to repeat this? I don't own the wonderful world of Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reviewing! Hope you have a good new year. I celebrated in Berlin. It was crazy!! So many people!!!! Actually I should worked on stuff for college, but that was much more fun. Though I have to say, I am not so happy with this chapter. I've written better ones. Anyways, please review, you'd make my day

Revelations

The next two months flew by. Dorcas had hardly time to enjoy her holidays, as predicted. In June, Voldemort sent a huge group of Inferi to a Muggle-town near Birmingham. The attack killed over 50 Muggles and it took almost the whole Order to prevent more deaths. In July, the situation almost escalated. A lot of shops in Diagon Alley were closed and due to the shortage the looting started. Luckily the Aurors got hold of most of them. And the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, where Dorcas worked, convicted twenty.

Dorcas started to work at 7 in the morning and mostly didn't leave until after midnight, because she had reports to write. Her already rare free days she spent working for the Order.

July continued to be very stressful. New laws were enacted. More violence happened on the streets.

By the end of the month, Dorcas had to take a couple of days off. Although it was in the middle of summer, she looked extremely pale and had dark rings under her eyes and her silky blonde hair now looked greasy and dull. To top everything off, she seemed to have caught a stomach flu. She could hardly keep her breakfast.

One morning, Dorcas hung over the toilet again and threw up the breakfast she didn't even have. Suddenly she heard someone calling her name in the living room.

"Dorcas! Are you home?"

"Yeah!", she answered drying her mouth. She walked slowly and with shaking legs into her living room. There, James' head danced in the flames of the fireplace.

"Are you okay?", he asked. "You look sick."

"What's the matter?", Dorcas asked back ignoring his question.

"The baby is coming!"

She was fully awake now.

"What? But I thought Lily wasn't due for another two weeks?"

"Well, apparently our little boy didn't want to wait that long. And Lily **demanded** to see you.", James answered. "Can you get to St. Mungo's as fast as possible?"

"Sure.", Dorcas said.

James's head dissapeared and Dorcas threw some clothes on and left her flat.

They had put up Anti-Apparation- and other Protection-charms around the flats and houses of every Order member. They also decided to take their fireplaces out of the register for the Floo-Network at the Ministry and only connect them to two other ones from the Order. Dorcas' place was connected to Lily and James and to Emmeline Vance. So, Dorcas left her flat and looked around the hallway of the building carefully before apparating directly into the entrance hall of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

Upon arriving, she was greeted by Sirius, who still looked very sleepy. His hair wasn't combed, the top buttons of his shirt were undone and it was only half tucked into his pants.

"Hey, there you are. Woa, how do you look? Are you sick?", he asked when he saw Dorcas.

"Way to make a girl feel better.", she replied grumpily. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep in the past weeks. Now, where's Lily?"

Sirius took her to the maternity ward. There, James was already pacing outside a door.

"She threw me out!" he exclaimes when he saw the two. "Can you believe it? My own wife throws me out!"

"Should I go in and talk to her?", Dorcas asked smiling.

"Please, talk some sense into that woman!", James pleaded.

Dorcas entered the room. Lily was standing at the end of her bed breathing heavily and slowly. When she saw her friend she forced a smile.

"Thank Merlin, you're here.", she said.

"Why did you throw James out?", Dorcas asked rubbing Lily's back.

"Well, he did this to me!", the redhead exclaimed pointing on her belly. "He is responsible for my pain! I – Argh-"

A contraction made Lily go down on her knees. Dorcas pulled her back up and helped her into the bed.

"I think James would really like to help you with that – of course in the way it is possible for him.", Dorcas added quickly when she saw Lily's glare. "I'm sure, he is very sorry for the pain he's causing you."

Lily squeezed her friend's hand when the next contraction came.

"Get James!", she yelled.

Dorcas darted out of the room. Sirius and James had taken seats in the waiting area, what was otherwise empty.

"She wants you! Now!", the blonde said adressing James.

His face lit up and he jumped out of the chair.

"Thanks.", he said, kissed her on the forehead and hurried to Lily's room.

Dorcas dropped on the couch next to Sirius and put her face in her hands.

"I am so bloody tired. I could just fall asleep right here.", she exclaimed.

Sirius smiled and pulled her towards him. Her head fell onto his shoulder.

"Why don't you take a little nap.", he suggested. "I think, we're going to stay here for a while."

Dorcas smiled thankfully and fell asleep instantly.

After a couple of hours, Sirius moved her head into his lap, because his shoulder started to ache. He took his cloak and covered her with it like a blanket. They had to wait another four hours and Sirius almost fell asleep himself, when James came running towards them with a huge grin on his face.

"Harry James Potter.", he annnounced. "19 inches and almost 6 pounds."

"Congratulations, mate.", Sirius grinned and got up carefully trying not to wake Dorcas up. He hugged his best friend.

"You gonna be godfather?", James asked.

"Me?", Sirius stammered.

"Yes. Lily and I agreed that you would be the best.", James answered.

"Of course.", Sirius his best friend again. "Thanks a bunch, Prongs."

"Don't mention it. You want to see him?", James glanced at Dorcas. "You should wake her up. She probably wants to see Harry, too."

Sirius turned around and shook Dorcas lightly.

"Hey, wake up." She opened her eyes looking at him confused. "The Baby's there. You want to see him?"

"How long did I sleep?", Dorcas asked rubbing her eyes.

Sirius glanced at his watch.

"About seven hours.", he answered.

"Blimely." She got up and together they went to Lily's room. Their friend was sitting in her bed with little Harry in her arms. Lily beamed at them and her eyes were sparkling. They looked at the baby. Harry already had a bunch of black hair. When he opened his eyes, they saw that they were emerald green just like Lily's.

"Merlin, Lils.", Dorcas said while stroking Harry's hair. "He's absolutely gorgeous."

After cooing over little baby Harry for a while, Dorcas and Sirius left the little family alone. They bade each other good-bye and went back to their flats.

Dorcas went straight to bed, although she had just slept seven hours.

What's wrong with me, she thought, I can sleep all day and still be tired.

Afte a couple of weeks, Dorcas still didn't feel a whole lot better. She was thinking on going to St. Mungo's to let herself get checked through. She looked at the calendar to figure out when she would have time to do that.

Her eyes went wide.

Bloody Hell!

* * *

Dorcas was preparing to floo over to Lily and visit little Harry. She had also bought some presents for him.

When she arrived in Godric's Hollow, she saw James lying lazily on the couch.

He greeted her with a big hug and grinned like a cheshire cat.

"How does it feel to be a dad?", Dorcas couldn't help but laughing at James' expression.

"It's amazing. But Harry is a great kid. Hardly sreams.", He answered. "If it stays that way, I can't wait to have another baby."

"Maybe you should ask Lily before?", Dorcas laughed.

"Ask me what?", Lily appeared in the living room carrying a sleeping Harry.

"Another baby.", James answered sheepishly.

"Harry is barely four weeks old. Don't you think we should wait like another year or so?", Lily asked.

"Whatever you say, Honey.", He kissed her on the lips and took Harry to put him in his crib.

The two women were sitting in the living room and Dorcas gave Lily the presents she got for Harry.

"Thank you so much, Dorcas.", Lily said hugging her friend. She had just unwrapped a big fluffy teddy-bear and a little shirt that said "My Daddy is stronger than yours".

"James will love this shirt.", Lily giggled.

"That's why I bought it.", Dorcas grinned. "Though you have to tell me one thing, Lily. How do you manage to look this good four weeks after giving birth?"

"I have absolutely no idea. But if I know I'll tell you." Lily looked at her friend closely. "You still don't look very well. Are you sick?"

Dorcas looked uncomfortable now.

"Erm.. that's what I wanted to talk to you about.", she said.

"Blimely. Is it something serious? Do you need medication?", Lily grapped Dorcas' hand. "Do you – "

"Lily, shut up.", Dorcas interrupted. "I'm pregnant."

* * *

I love cliffhangers, don't you? I'm not sure when I'll update again, 'cause I have exams coming up. But maybe I am bored in class again, who knows 


	5. A decision is made

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or his parents or Sirius. Wish I did though.

**A/N:** I'm really sorry that I kept you waiting, but I had a lot to do for University (I really hate giving presentations!). And in February I have those stupid exams coming up. Oh well. Now, I want to thank my reviewers: **cyiusblack, AnneRG, DementedLeaf, dragonflybaby, Noc007 **and **amrawo**. Your reviews really made my day :-) Anyways, here comes the next chapter. It's quite short, but I just couldn't think of what else to write. And remember: **Review**, please!

A decision is made

_"Lily, shut up.", Dorcas interrupted. "I'm pregnant"_

Lily looked at her blankly.

"Did you just say that you are pregnant?", she asked confused.

"Yes, I did.", Dorcas answered massaging her temples. "You know what that is, you've been through it yourself, remember?"

"But who is the fath-", then it dawned on Lily. "Merlin's pants, **Sirius**?"

"Obviously. Since I haven't shagged anyone in the last six months", Dorcas said tears brimming in her eyes. "What am I going to do now?"

"Did you tell him yet?", Lily asked pulling her friend in a gentle embrace.

Dorcas shook her head. The tears were now pouring down her face.

"I can't have a child now. I'm only twenty years old.", she sobbed.

"But I'm twenty, too.", Lily said stroking Dorcas' hair.

"Yeah, but you have James. You're married. I spent one night with Sirius and now I'm in such a mess."

"But a baby is not a mess."

"It's just, that a baby was not part of my life plan.", Dorcas laughed sardonically. "Can you imagine Sirius being a father?"

Lily had to suppress a giggle. "Not really. But I can definitely imagine how drop-dead gorgeous that child will look."

"But I just don't think that Sirius wants a child.", Dorcas said.

"Why do think that? He's Harry's godfather and is doing a great job.", Lily stated.

"But he's just spending a little time with him and you are always around. And caring for a child non-stop is much harder."

"You have to tell him, Dorcas.", Lily urged her friend. "You won't find out what he's thinking unless you tell him."

Dorcas wanted to answer when she heard James coming down the stairs. She quickly wiped away the tears and prepared to leave.

"No word to James. Promise me, Lily."

"Okay.", Lily nodded.

Dorcas stepped into the fire and returned to her flat.

James entered the living room.

"Where did Dorcas go?", he asked looking around. Then he saw the shirt Dorcas got for Harry and grinned like a maniac. "That's a wicked shirt…"

Lily didn't really listen to her husband's rambling. She stared into the fire thinking about what Dorcas just told her.

* * *

A couple of days later, an Order meeting was called. Before she left, Dorcas looked at herself in the mirror, examining her stomach. A little bump was now beginning to show, though not quite visible. Over three months along and finally the morning sickness had gotten better. That also meant that she started eating a lot more now. It wouldn't be long before it could be clearly seen that she was pregnant. 

Dorcas sighed. She still hadn't figured out how she should tell Sirius that she was expecting his child.

When she arrived at the meeting place (they were gathered in Frank and Alice Longbottom's living room), Dorcas saw Lily giving her a questioning look. Dorcas shook her head. She wanted to catch Sirius after the meeting.

Dorcas sat at one of the windows and kept looking outside. She knew she should really be paying attention, but that wasn't possible. A million thoughts kept running through her head.

When the meeting ended and everyone was leaving, Dorcas approached Sirius carefully. He grinned at her.

"Hey, you look better."

"Yeah, thanks.", she said nervously twitching her fingers. Merlin, this is hard.

She opened her mouth to speak, but in that moment Lily and James were leaving with little Harry in Lily's arms. And everbody was cooing over Harry.

"He is just adorable, isn't he?", Sirius asked.

"He is.", Dorcas answered. "Have you thought about having children yet?"

Sirius let out a bark-like laughter. Dorcas' heart fell.

"Me?", he was still laughing. "Not in the next ten years at least. I mean, I would have to have a relationship with a woman for longer than four weeks."

Dorcas felt her heart stop.

"And also,", he continued. "I wouldn't want to put a child in this war, right now."

Dorcas felt dizzy. This was what she had been dreading. She had known it all along.

"Well, I'll see you around, Dorcas.", Sirius said. "I have a date tonight with Susan from the Floo-Network-Regulations."

With that he left and Dorcas stood there numbly. What am I going to do now?

She slowly made her way to her flat. Thinking about her options.

When she stood in her living room, a decision formed in her head.

There was no way, she would have an abortion. She was going to have this baby.

But Sirius must never know about the child.

* * *

If you've got some ideas for me, what the Order could be doing, I would appreciate it (Somehow my inspiration left me there) 


	6. Thinking and Talking

Disclaimer: I know what I want for my birthday: SIRIUS. But that's not gonna happen -Sigh- Unless J.K. Rowling reads this and decides to give him to me ;-)

A/N: Alright, wow, that's one fast update. I should've rather been studying for my exams. Oh before I forget it

**_This chapter is dedicated to my sister Tine, who always has to put up with my ideas for this story. Luv ya, Sweetie_**

I promised to dedicate it to her, so here we are. Unfortunately nobody had an idea for me for the Order. Please, if you can think of anything, let me know. It would make my work so much easier (faster updates!!!)! Another reminder: **Please review, I've had so many hits, but so little reviews. Make my day and review!!!!!!!**

Thinking and Talking

Although she didn't feel very comfortable with her decision, Dorcas figured, she didn't have a choice. She rummaged through her old Charms books, trying to find a spell that would conceal her belly once it was too big to hide under her clothes. After what seemed like hours of going through every single spell, she finally found it.

"Tego texi tectum", Dorcas read. "Charm used to conceal certain parts of the outside appearance of a person. Mostly used to conceal a pregnancy. CAUTION: Very risky if not performed correctly."

She sighed. This was one of the most complicated charms she had ever seen. Luckily, she had achieved an "Outstanding" in her NEWT's Charms.

Dorcas touched her little bump gently. It was too soon to use the spell. So, she wrote it down on a piece of parchment and stuffed the books back on the shelf.

After brewing a cup of tea, Dorcas settled down on the couch, thinking.

I can't believe what I have gotten myself into. Getting myself pregnant from the infamous Sirius Black. Not married and concealing the pregnacy from the father. My mum would kill me. Her first and probably only grandchild...

Then another thought came to her mind. She could conceal the pregancy, but what would happen when the baby was born? How was she going to explain THAT?

Dorcas stood up and began pacing in her living room. She didn't want to give the child into an orphanage.

She thought about her muggle cousin in the USA, that she had always got along with. Dorcas' mum was a muggleborn witch and had a brother who went to Columbus, Ohio to study. There he met his wife and they had a daughter, Brianna, who was three years older than her. Dorcas remembered the last letter she got from her, telling her that she was getting married to a guy named Mark Anderson. Dorcas had to tell her that she couldn't attend the wedding due to the war.

Maybe I can ask Brianna to take care of the baby as long as this war is going on, she wondered.

She glanced at her watch. She would do that tomorrow.

When she crawled into her bed, Dorcas remembered that she had to talk to Lily, or otherwise the redhead might tell Sirius something.

* * *

At the same time in his flat, Sirius lay panting on his bed. 

He looked beside him. The slender figure of Susan was breathing equally heavy. Her ginger hair was sprawled on the pillow. She turned around, put her head on Sirius' chest and fell asleep smiling blissfully.

Sirius couldn't sleep though. He thought about Dorcas. Of course it was really mean, considering he had just shagged Susan. But with her he hadn't felt the passion, he had shared with Dorcas. Dorcas' skin was softer and she had this special smell like a peach. He wondered if it was a body lotion she used.

He shook his head trying to get those thoughts out. They were leading to nothing. Dorcas and him were only friends.

Sirius carefully placed the sleeping Susan on the other side of his bed and covered her with on of the blankets. Laying back again, his mind wandered to Dorcas' wonderful body again…

* * *

Due to the time difference of six hours, Dorcas had to postpone calling Brianna. Sending a letter through owl-mail was too risky, since the letter could be intercepted. And it would take too long anyway. She just had to know if her plan was going to work out. 

Thus, Dorcas made her way to Godric's Hollow to make sure, Lily didn't spill anything to James or Sirius.

When she arrived, Lily was busy feeding Harry. Both women settled down in the kitchen.

"You don't have any pancakes or waffles left, do you", Dorcas asked sheepishly.

"I think there is some left on the stove.", Lily laughed. "Didn't you have any breakfast yet?"

"I did.", Dorcas answered with her mouthful. "But I'm still hungry."

"That's totally normal.", Lily said, suddenly she looked at her friend sternly. "Do you still drink coffee?"

"Yes.", Dorcas gazed at her innocently.

"The usual EIGHT cups?", Lily asked accusingly.

Dorcas nodded carefully, not quite knowing what her friend was getting at.

"Do you realize how much damage you can do to your child with all the caffeine?", Lily looked at her shocked.

"Er…no?!"

Lily stood up.

"I'm going to put Harry in his crib and then I'll get you some books, okay?" Without another word, she left the kitchen.

Dorcas shrugged and continued to eat her second breakfast.

After a couple of minutes, Lily returned with a pile of books and dropped them on the kitchen table.

"Those are the ones, I read during my pregnancy with Harry.", she said.

"Don't get me wrong, Lily. I love reading. But don't you think fifteen books on pregnancy and birth is a little overkill?", Dorcas asked examining the books. "I mean, they're all saying the same thing anyway, don't they?"

"But you have to be prepared.", Lily exclaimed. "Just take a couple of them with you, okay"

Dorcas nodded dutifully and picked herself three books from the large pile.

Lily smiled broadly now and settled back down at the table.

"So, how did Sirius react?"

Dorcas stopped eating and looked at her shamefully.

"I didn't tell him.", she whispered.

Lily's smile faltered.

"I wanted to, really.", Dorcas said tears welling up in her eyes. "I thought it was a good idea to ask him how he felt about having children. And…then…h-he s-said h-he d-doesn't w-want ch-children."

Dorcas sobbed. After a couple of minutes she calmed down.

"Sirius will never know about this baby."

"Are you planning on hiding the pregnancy?", Lily asked unbelievingly.

Dorcas nodded.

"And you will keep quiet, Lily. You have to promise me.", she looked at the redhead desperatly.

"You want me to lie to my husband and his best friend?", Lily's eyes widened.

"Yes. You are my best friend, Lily. I always thought friends are helping each other out."

"Of course. But Dorcas, this is…how can you…"

"Are you helping me or not?", Dorcas asked looking at Lily with determination.

Lily hestitated.

"Alright.", she agreed reluctantly. "I'll keep quiet."

* * *

Another chapter done. I'm thinking of putting a little flashback in the next chapter from their time at Hogwarts. If you would like to see one, tell me in your review (a simple yes or no would do)! 


	7. Flashback

**Disclaimer:** I own Harry Potter and the characters. Yeah right. I'm glad that I own this laptop. And the plot line of course.

**A/N:** I have to admit, I'm a bit mad at you. I got 70 hits on the last chapter and only 3 reviews :-( But a lot of thanks to my reviewers: **AnneRG, amrawo **and **ctc** . I have enabled anonymous reviews now. So, please review.

Flashback

_A seventeen-year old Dorcas Meadowes sighed in exasperation and tossed her quill away. She stretched her arms and looked around. Other students were writing their essays or chatting quietly sitting at the other tables._

_As Dorcas picked up her quill again, grumbling, Sirius Black flopped down on the chair across from her. _

"_I thought you wanted to work on that Potions essay with Lily?", he asked, sprawling lazily on the chair._

"_We were.", Dorcas answered throwing her quill away again. "Until that bloody friend of yours showed up and now they are snogging each other senseless in a broom cupboard."_

"_I can't help it, if she finally gave into his charm", Sirius grinned._

"_Have you done yours yet?", she asked him hopefully._

"_Au contraire, mademoiselle. __I'll copy from Moony tonight.", he winked at a fifth year Hufflepuff girl who was sitting at the table next to them._

_Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Why did I even ask"._

_She looked as if she wanted to start writing again, but let out a frustrated groan._

"_It just doesn't make any sense without Lily.", Dorcas started packing her things together. "I don't think, they'll return soon."_

"_Probably not.", Sirius laughed and stood up, holding his arm out for Dorcas to take. "Shall I escort Mademoiselle to dinner?"_

"_Of course, Monsieur. That would be a pleasure.", she giggled and gave Sirius her books and parchment._

"_That's not what I meant.", he said pouting._

"_My, and I thought you were a gentleman, Sirius.", Dorcas replied clutching her heart._

"_But only, because it's you.", Sirius sighed while Dorcas linked her arm into his._

_Together they made their way to dinner, joking around. They only stopped to see Lily and James coming out of a broom cupboard, panting heavily. Sirius and Dorcas looked at each other and bursted out laughing._

_Dinner passed by uneventfully. Lily and Dorcas decided to head up to the common room, because Dorcas had begged Lily into helping her with the Potions essay. The Marauders stayed behind talking about their next prank. When both girls were on the fifth floor a third year Gryffindor came running to them._

"_Professor McGonagall wants to see you, Dorcas.", she said. Dorcas knew the girl, Eva, because she had tutored her in Charms._

_Dorcas and Lily exchanged a confused look. _

"_Well, I'll just go quick and you can go and start on that essay for Slughorn.", Dorcas shrugged._

_She made her way to the office of her Head of House, wondering what that was about. Dorcas rarely got into trouble, and she knew for a fact, she didn't do anything tonight. When she entered the office, Professor McGonagall was sitting behind her desk and next to her standing was Professor Dumbledore._

"_Sit down, Miss Meadowes.", the Transfiguration teacher told her._

_Dorcas sat down on the chair in front of the desk, looking very confused._

_McGonagall looked at her with sad eyes._

"_I have some bad news for you. Your father has been killed today."_

_Dorcas froze._

"_What?"_

"_I am very sorry, Dorcas.", Professor Dumbledore addressed her. "A couple of Death Eaters were responsible. They haven't been caught though. Your mum wasn't harmed."_

_Dorcas sat a moment in silence trying to digest what she had been told and then fled the room. She ran through the corridors not knowing or caring where she went. Then she collapsed on the ground not longer able to breathe. Tears were pouring down her face. _

_That just couldn't be happening. Her dad couldn't be dead. Not her dad. Dorcas clutched the stone wall sobbing so hard that her chest hurt. She didn't hear the footsteps approaching._

"_Dorcas? What are you doing here?", a concerned voice asked her._

_When she looked up, she saw Sirius kneeling beside her. She threw herself at him, crying into his shoulder._

"_What happened?", he asked hugging her._

"_M-my d-dad –", Dorcas sobbed. "- was k-killed – "_

"_Oh, Merlin.", Sirius closed his eyes. "Come on, let's get you back to the common room."_

_Dorcas shook her head. She didn't want to be crying in front of the entire Gryffindor tower. Sirius took a piece of parchment out of his cloak and looked at it._

"_Only the guys and Lily are still up.", he whispered._

_Dorcas didn't think that she could walk. She felt so weak and empty._

_Sirius sighed and scooped her up, one arm behind her back and one under her knees and carried her all the way to the common room. When he entered, Lily and James who were entangled, jumped up._

"_What happened to her?", Lily asked her eyes full of concern._

_Sirius put her down on of the couches and made way for Lily. Dorcas was still sobbing, while the redhead was trying to calm her down._

"_Her dad was killed.", he said quietly._

_Lily and James looked at him in shock. They knew how close Dorcas was to her father. Lily was stroking Dorcas' hair and held her tightly._

Dorcas' eyes snapped open. She looked around. It was still dark outside and one glance on the clock told her it was three in the morning. She groaned and layed back down. It's been three years now that her dad died, but she still remembered that day.

Dorcas tried to get back to sleep, but it was hopeless. She thought about how carefree they were back then. The war was a surreal thing, it happened outside the safe walls of Hogwarts. That day everyone realized how close it was. She wouldn't have been able to go through the weeks after that without her friends.

Her hand stroked her little belly. It was quite visible now and last week she had tried out the charm for the first time. It was really weird to see her stomach flatten again, when she had gotten used to the little bump. The spell wore off after one week and then it had to be renewed.

Suddenly, Dorcas felt a little kick. It was the first time she felt her baby move and she felt estatic. This made the baby real to her, feeling the movement.

Today, she had an appointment at St. Mungo's for the monthly check-up. Dorcas had decided not to use the spell until after the appointment. The healer probably wouldn't be very happy about it.

After another glance on her clock, she got up. The earlier she got to St. Mungo's, the earlier she could place the charm again.

* * *

Healer Riley looked closely at the clipboard. 

"It looks like your baby is doing excellent.", he said with a small smile. "But I hope, you cut down on your coffee consumption?!"

"I only drink half as much as before.", Dorcas said, which was kind of true. She just couldn't survive a day without at least four cups, on a stressful day, she drank five.

"I was wondering if you could tell me the gender of the baby?", Dorcas asked cautiously.

"You are 18 weeks along now?", Healer Riley asked.

Dorcas nodded. She had been told before that it wasn't safe for the baby until 16 weeks into the pregnancy. Apparently it had something to do with the spell, that was used.

The Healer murmured an incantation and at the end of the wand a small pink light appeared.

"Well, congratulations, Miss Meadowes. You are expecting a baby girl."

Dorcas beamed. A little girl. She couldn't believe it.

She got ready to leave, relishing the news, she had just received. She was already in the entrance hall, when –

"Dorcas!"

She froze. It wasn't even seven yet. Who in Merlin's pants was visiting the hospital this early? Then she realized she hadn't put the concealment charm back up. Dorcas wrapped her cloak around her and spun around.

"Remus! What are you doing here. So early.", she asked nervously.

"Well, I could ask you the same thing.", Remus chuckled. "I have to pick up a potion for my 'furry little problem'. What were you doing here, anyway?"

"I – I was just having a check-up.", Dorcas stuttered. That wasn't even a lie. "I haven't been feeling too well. And now, I've got to get to work."

Remus looked at her closely.

"Well, I don't want to hold you up. Bye.", he said and turned around to get his potion.

Dorcas sighed in relief. That was close. Very close.

* * *

I have an exam coming up on friday, so it could take a bit. And remember, Review!!!!!!! 


	8. Names and Arguments

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters from the Potter-Universe, I only own the plot.

**A/N:** I survived my first exam, but there are 3 more coming next week, so earliest update will be Friday night. Thanks to all of my reviewers, you have no idea how happy you made me. I'm sorry again for my English (you might come across weird sentences and too many commas ;-)) Anyway, hope you like it and leave a review for me (that will keep my spirits high for the upcoming week)

Names and Arguments

After the incident with Remus, Dorcas was extra-careful, never to leave her flat without the charm. Her stomach flattened, but she couldn't conceal that she gained a couple of pounds, especially on her bottom and at her chest.

September turned into October and Dorcas settled into a somewhat normal routine. Her work at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was a desk job and didn't require a lot of physical activity. As for the Order work, she was glad that Lily was covering up for her, getting the easier missions.

Dorcas and Lily decided they would meet in Dorcas' flat. They didn't want James or Sirius eavesdropping on their conversations about Dorcas' pregnancy. Though Lily kept urging her to tell Sirius the Truth. But all attempts were in vain.

On a very rainy Saturday afternoon, Lily and Dorcas curled up on the couch. Lily pursed her lips when she saw Dorcas drinking coffee.

"Honestly, Dorcas", she said. "You really have to stop drinking that stuff. It's not good for the baby."

"I cut down on it.", Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"If you want to drink coffee, why don't you drink decaf?", Lily suggested.

"Lily, the whole sense of coffee is caffeine. Otherwise I can't get up in the morning. It keeps me awake."

"It's your choice.", the redhead said shrugging.

"It won't kill her.", Dorcas replied sipping her coffee contently.

"HER?", Lily's eyes widened. "You're going to have a girl?"

Dorcas nodded and beamed at her friend. Lily pulled her in a tight hug squealing like a school girl.

"A baby girl.", she sighed. "Have you thought of any names yet?"

Dorcas shook her head.

"I want a name with a meaning, you know?"

"Just make sure, it's nothing ridiculous.", Lily pointed out. "I mean, look at Andromeda's daughter: Nymphadora. Poor child."

Soon, they were looking through books throwing names at each other.

"What about Isabella?", Lily suggested

"No.", Dorcas shouted. "The 'bella'-part reminds me too much of Bellatrix."

"And Delilah?"

Dorcas snorted. "I'm not naming my daughter after some bible-whore."

Lily sighed putting the books back on the table.

"You are being difficult."

Dorcas poked her tongue at Lily.

"I still have time.", she said defensively.

"When are you due?", Lily asked.

"February 25th.", Dorcas answered. "Though Healer Riley said I might be early, because I am too skinny and apparently my baby is not going to be the biggest either."

"I know what you mean.", Lily nodded. "I had the same problem. That's what we get for representing the ideal of beauty."

Dorcas giggled at that statement.

"What are you going to do with her, once she's born?", Lily asked looking earnestly.

"I talked to my cousin Brianna. The one in America.", Dorcas answered. "She will take my baby in for a while."

"For how long?"

"I don't know.", Dorcas sighed. "For as long as the war is going on?!"

"That could be a long time.", Lily pointed out.

"I know, but…", Dorcas paused. "I'm so scared that something could happen to her."

Before Lily could answer, a patronus-dog appeared in the living room.

"Come to Mansfield now! There has been an attack."

Dorcas and Lily looked at each other horror-stricken. Mansfield meant the house of the Meadowes family. Dorcas' mum lived there alone, after the death of her husband. Sharon Meadowes was a likely victim for the Death Eaters. She was muggle-born and supported Dumbledore in his fight against Voldemort.

When they arrived in Mansfield, their worst fears were confirmed. Above the two-story house, the dark mark illuminated the grey sky. Other Order members were already there, including Sirius. At once, one of Dorcas' hands moved to her concealed belly. She had successfully avoided him during the last month. She had always been the last one to arrive at Order meetings and the first one to leave, always sitting as far away from him as possible.

At the sight of the destroyed entrance door, Dorcas was brought back into reality. She rushed into the house, ignoring Sirius' and Lily's calls.

"Mum?", she yelled. "Mum? Where are you? Mum?"

When she came into the living room, she started chocking. There, her mother lay. Her blue eyes staring into nothing.

Dorcas rushed to her mother's corpse and started sobbing.

Sirius walked into the house as well. When he saw Dorcas leaning over her mother's body, it nearly broke his heart. He reached for her, trying to soothe her. But he stopped when he saw Lily kneeling beside her.

"Dorcas.", Lily said softly. "There is nothing you can do anymore. Come on, let's go."

Reluctantly, Dorcas got up, holding onto Lily's arms.

The redhead nodded to Sirius, to take them both side-along apparation to Dorcas' flat. Sirius understood and shortly after they were standing in the hallway of the apartment building.

"Thanks, Sirius.", Lily said. "I can handle her from now on."

"I'm gonna come along.", he said determinedly. "I want to make sure she is okay."

Lily bit her bottom lip. They hadn't bothered to clean up, so the baby-books were still lying around. When she opened the door, Lily muttered a cleaning spell, hoping the books had vanished in the shelfs. She shoved Dorcas towards the couch, quickly looking around if her spell worked. Dorcas lay down on the couch and Sirius came and covered her with a blanket.

Dorcas looked at him as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Suddenly she was very angry, more towards the Death Eaters, but now Sirius was there.

"Get out!", she snarled.

"W-What?", Sirius looked taken aback.

"I said get out.", Dorcas yelled. "I don't want you in here."

"Why?", he stared at her incredulously. "What have I done?"

"Don't you think it's a little odd, that whenever someone I love dies, you are around?", she was sitting up now, tears brimming in her eyes. "First my dad, then Benjy and now my mum!"

Sirius was lost for words. He couldn't believe what he heard.

"Are you insinuating that it is my fault that they died?", Sirius yelled, getting angry as well.

"What if I did?", Dorcas shouted.

Sirius expression became stone-cold. Enough was enough.

"Think what you want.", he said in a deadly calm voice. "But I don't have to do that to myself."

With that he stormed out of the flat, but he still heard Dorcas yelling after him "And don't bother coming to the funeral! I don't want you there!", leaving a shocked looking Lily behind.

"Why did you say that?", Lily asked.

"Because it's true.", Dorcas cried.

"You are insane.", Lily said shaking her head.

"If you think so, then you can leave as well.", Dorcas replied looking at the floor. Thus, she didn't notice the hurt expression on Lily's face.

"Let me know, when you have calmed down.", she said quietly and left Dorcas alone.

Dorcas lay back down on the couch and curled up, the tears pouring down her face. At that moment she didn't care if she hurt her best friend or the father of her unborn child. She just knew, that she was all alone now. She couldn't even tell her mum that she was pregnant. Dorcas wanted to feel empty, but then she felt a kick of her baby-girl and she knew she had to be strong, for her baby.

* * *

You are probably mad at me for being so mean to Sirius, but I had to do it. And now press that little button down there and tell me what you think. 


	9. Birthday suprises

**Disclaimer:** I solemnly swear that I do not own the Harry Potter Universe (not even that line)!

**A/N:** I actually wanted to update earlier, but I was so tired on Friday and it took me forever to write this chapter. Thank you guys sooooooooo much for the **9** reviews I received for the last chapter!! You have no idea, how happy you made me :-D. By the way, the Isabella-Delilah-line I got from a Friends-episode, I just had to include it. So here is hopefully some "being nice to Sirius time". Anyway, if I'm satisfied with the number of reviews, I might post the next chapter in a couple of days. And now, enjoy!!

Birthday surprises

After their fall-out, Dorcas and Sirius didn't speak with each other. In fact, they were ignoring each other. This had been going on for a month now and neither Dorcas nor Sirius was ready to give in. To take his mind of her, Sirius slept with as many girls as he could, reaching the playboy-status he had acquired at Hogwarts. But as much as he enjoyed the sex, he always ended up comparing the girls to Dorcas and that was driving him insane.

One day in November, Sirius and James were sitting at their desks in the Auror-Department and finishing some reports.

"How was your date with Maria?", James asked.

"Maria?", Sirius frowned. "I thought her name was Cindy?"

James looked at his friend incredulously.

"You don't even remember her name?"

Sirius shrugged.

"It doesn't really matter, because I always have to think about Dorcas.", he mumbled.

James' head jerked up.

"Do you mean, you think about Dorcas when you shag other girls?", he asked staring at his friend.

Sirius nodded.

"It's driving me mad. No matter how pretty or good in bed they are, I just can't stop thinking about her.", he groaned in frustration.

"Do you know what that means?", James asked.

"Er…no?!", Sirius looked at him confused.

"Mate, I think you are in love with her."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but then comprehension settled and he closed his mouth. It would definitely explain his behavior in the past weeks.

In that moment, Dorcas entered the room. She ignored Sirius completely and dropped a stack of parchments on James' desk

"This is Andrew Knight's file. I need you to sort through that until tomorrow.", she said curtly.

"Sure.", James answered looking from Dorcas to Sirius.

But Dorcas firmly avoided looking at Sirius and marched out of the office.

"That's exactly why I can not be in love with her!", Sirius exclaimed throwing his arms in the air.

"You still haven't talked to her?", James asked.

"No.", Sirius scoffed. "She accused me off causing her parents' deaths! She is the one who has to apologize for her behavior! Not me!"

"I know.", James nodded. He couldn't believe that Dorcas actually said that. That was very unlike her. In fact, she seemed to have drastic mood changes in the past few months. And she also grew quite distant from her friends. She only seemed to be meeting with Lily. And something about her appearance changed as well, only James couldn't tell what. When he pointed that out to Sirius, his friend looked thoughtful.

"I've noticed that, too.", he said slowly. "Her boobs are bigger."

James raised his eyebrows.

"You should know.", he said chuckling.

Sirius threw his parchments at him, but James ducked in time. Being a former Quidditch player had its benefits.

"Anyway.", he laughed. "What are you going to do for your birthday? It's only two weeks until the 20th."

Sirius leaned back in his chair and shrugged.

"I don't know. Nothing big. I think I only want to have dinner with you guys – and Lily and Harry, of course."

"And Dorcas?", James asked tentatively.

"If she apologizes, I might consider it.", Sirius answered indifferently, although he really wanted her to be there. A great birthday present would be to shove her against a wall and have his wicked way with her. Sirius shook his head, those thoughts weren't helping in his current situation, seeing that Dorcas refused to talk to him.

"I'll have Lily talk to her.", James said. "Maybe she can talk some sense into her."

"Yeah.", Sirius sighed. "Well, I'm calling it a night."

With that he walked out of the office, leaving James behind. But James wasn't really in the mood to sort through Andrew Knight's file tonight. He could always do that tomorrow.

* * *

His birthday arrived and Sirius still didn't know if Dorcas was joining them for dinner. He decided it would be the best if they had dinner in Godric's Hollow. That way, he already got his first present, because Lily was cooking. Remus was also joining the group, but Peter had something else to do. Sirius figured, he finally got a date and didn't want to push the matter. He was more anxious about Dorcas anyway. When he asked Lily, she only shrugged and said, Dorcas didn't say anything definite. 

Lily was setting the food on the table in the dining-room and everyone was preparing to eat, when they heard someone arriving in the living-room. Sirius rose and headed towards the fireplace, having a pretty good idea who could be the guest. And he was surely not mistaken. Dorcas had stepped out of the fireplace and was looking around uncertainly. Her blonde hair was tied back into an elegant bun and she was wearing a knee-length dark blue dress with long sleeves. The dress wasn't as tight as Sirius had hoped for, but it looked stunning on her nonetheless.

"Hi.", Dorcas said quietly not looking into his eyes.

"Hey.", Sirius replied moving towards her.

"I'm sorry about what I said last month.", she began. "I don't know what's gotten into me. I -"

"It's okay.", he interrupted.

Dorcas sighed in relief.

"So, we're friends again?", she asked looking at him with an expectant smile.

"Friends.", Sirius repeated forcing himself to smile at her. He wanted to be more than friends with Dorcas.

"Oh, sorry. How could I forget.", she exclaimed. "Happy Birthday, Sirius."

"Thanks.", he replied. When Dorcas moved towards the door, he couldn't help asking. "Don't I get a birthday hug?"

"Sure.", Dorcas answered. Before she could say anything else, Sirius had already enveloped her in a big hug. She still smelled peachy and that was almost enough to make him snog her senseless. But he caught himself and together they walked into the dining-room to join the others. During dinner, Sirius kept stealing glances at Dorcas. She was clearly enjoying herself and was eating the third helping.

Once they finished eating, they gathered in the living room.

"Okay, Sirius.", James began smiling mischievously. "This year, we decided to pool expenses and get you one big present. But you have to go outside, because it's too big to get it inside."

Sirius looked at his friends totally confused. All of them were smiling broadly at him and together they went to the back door. When he stepped outside, his breath caught, but it wasn't from the cold. In the backyard stood a motorcycle with a big red bow. Sirius always had had a fondness for motorcycles, partially because it used to drive his parents crazy.

"You like it?", James asked with a huge grin on his face.

Sirius could only nod and strode towards the motorcycle to examine it.

"But that's not all, my dear Padfoot. You see, Dorcas and Remus worked their charm skills and now you can fly with it!"

Sirius looked in awe at his friends, especially at Dorcas who blushed and looked at the floor. He had to fight the urge of snogging her again.

"Thank you guys so much!", he said after hugging everyone, Dorcas a little longer than everyone else. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by James.

"You know, I actually wanted to get you a stripper, but since you are so madly in love with Dorcas, I didn't think that would've been a good idea.", James said while walking in with his friend.

Sirius nudged James and gave him a pointed look.

"You didn't tell Lily anything about that, did you?", he asked.

James shook his head.

"I figured, you should tell her first.", he answered.

"Yeah.", Sirius ruffled his hair. He should tell Dorcas how he felt. He just didn't know how. After all, Sirius Black has never been in love before.

* * *

So, I hope I was nice enough to Sirius. Tell me what you think and you might get another chapter during this week. 


	10. All I want for Christmas is You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this story. And I do not own the title (That one belongs to Mariah Carey). I only own the plotline.

**A/N:** I was very happy about the 6 reviews I received for the last chapter and so I post the next one. I think it's the longest yet. I want to thank all of my faithful reviewers and also the 3 anonymous ones. Thank you guys! And keep on reviewing and make me happy!!

All I want for Christmas is you

Dorcas flopped onto her bed. She had just returned from Sirius' birthday dinner and it went unexpectedly well. Sirius had forgiven her and was thrilled with his birthday present. Although she had been a little reluctant to hug him, because she was afraid he would feel her baby's movements. But fortunately, her baby girl had kept quiet during dinner and that way, Dorcas could really enjoy herself. She had really missed those get-togethers with her friends.

Dorcas sighed and changed into her pyjama and curled up in her bed. Something was strange about the way Sirius kept looking at her, though she couldn't figure it out. His grey eyes were so dark with emotion. What was it? Longing? Lust? She had never seen him looking that way. It was very confusing. She sighed and turned around feeling lonely in her big bed. Slowly she drifted off to sleep.

Sirius' behaviour remained quite strange over the next weeks up to Christmas. The Aurors normally didn't show up in the other offices for Magical Law Enforcement, but Sirius popped in every other day smiling at her like there was no tomorrow. And he hadn't dated nor shagged any girl during this time either. That's what was really puzzling Dorcas. Did Sirius find himself a girlfriend? That idea was simply absurd. Dorcas shook her head, trying to focus on her reports again.

But today, her baby decided to take an active-day. She was kicking and moving around the whole day already and lunch was still an hour away. Dorcas groaned. This was getting very uncomfortable.

"Hungry?", a familiar voice called from the door.

"Sirius.", Dorcas said. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't answer my question.", Sirius chuckled beaming at her. "I thought we could head to the cafeteria for lunch. I'll pay."

Dorcas simply couldn't resist food. She had already gained over 14 pounds.

Soon enough they were sitting at a table and eating sandwiches. Sirius had been looking at her oddly when she started on her fifth sandwich, but didn't say anything.

"So,", he started. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Well.", Dorcas swallowed. "I'm going to Lily and James. How about you?"

"Same here.", Sirius replied. "Wouldn't want to miss my godson's first Christmas, would I?"

Dorcas nodded but felt her insides squirm and that wasn't the baby's fault. He seemed so excited about Harry's first Christmas. Would he feel the same way about his own child? Dorcas had been arguing with herself for a couple of days now, if she should tell him about her pregnancy. The result had been the same as before. But she was less certain.

"What do you want to have for Christmas?", Sirius asked pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Er…", Dorcas stuttered. "I don't know. You don't have to get me anything."

"Then I have think of something myself.", he replied with a genuine smile.

The last couple of days before Christmas passed rather quickly. Dorcas was preparing to floo over to Lily and James on Christmas Eve for dinner. She and Sirius would stay overnight, which was terrifying her. But Lily had promised her that she could sleep in the guest room while Sirius would be sleeping on the couch in the living-room. Remus would be joining them on Christmas Day, since he wanted to spend the evening before with his parents. Peter had been acting strange for the past weeks, but Sirius told her that he had finally found himself a girlfriend. Thus they didn't press the matter and Peter would be absent for Christmas.

Dorcas looked at herself in the mirror. She had chosen a crimson velvet dress that flowed wide under her bust down to her knees. Though she had the concealment-charm on her belly, Dorcas didn't want to take any chances by wearing something tight. And she didn't want to give Sirius any ideas, because she thought she had figured out the look in his eyes and in her opinion it was pure lust.

When the presents were tucked under the Christmas tree in the living-room, everyone sat down in the dining-room. Lily had outdone herself again, with a big turkey and roast potatoes and cranberry sauce. Harry was sitting in his high chair and clapping his hands squealing. That was already enough to put one in a good mood.

During dinner, Dorcas could feel Sirius looking at her, but every time she glanced up, his eyes were focused on something else. She mentally slapped herself. Sirius had already slept with her. Why would he want to do it again?

After the table was cleared and Harry was put into his crib, the four settled into the living-room.

"A glass of punch for everyone?", James asked.

Dorcas flinched.

"Oh, right. You don't like the 'Potter-Christmas-Punch', do you Dorcas?", he asked a smirk playing on his lips.

"Exactly, James.", Dorcas replied sighing inwardly. "I didn't like it last year, nor the year before. So, I don't even want to try it this year."

The other three were laughing at that statement remembering when she had choked on it last year and threw up the whole dinner afterwards. Thus, Dorcas settled for a nice big cup of tea.

When midnight was approaching, they decided to head to bed. Lily and James were already making their way upstairs and Dorcas was about to follow them, when Sirius held her up. They were standing in the doorway between the living-room and the hallway. She looked at him confused. He pointed upwards and she saw a mistletoe hanging above their heads. When she looked back down at Sirius he was giving her his trademark smile.

"I don't know if we should – ", Dorcas began but was silenced by Sirius who captured her lips gently. She found herself closing her eyes and kissing him back. That kiss was totally different from the ones she had shared with Sirius before. The other ones had been full of passion, but this one was soft and almost loving. However, reason came back to her mind and she pulled away.

"I don't think, we should have done this.", she whispered.

"And why is that?", Sirius asked her looking directly into her eyes.

"We are friends.", Dorcas answered ignoring the loud beating of her heart. "And friends shouldn't be doing this. Good Night, Sirius."

She hurried upstairs. When she closed the door behind her, she sighed heavily and gently touched her lips with her fingers. She was so confused. Sirius had put so much love in that kiss, that her stomach started to flutter. Maybe that had something to do with the baby, Dorcas thought shaking her head. She curled up under the bed covers and fell asleep instantly. But her dreams were filled with Sirius kissing her and doing a lot of other things with her and she couldn't help enjoying them.

The next morning Dorcas woke up to Harry's gleeful laughing. It took her a while until she managed to get out of her bed and even longer to get dressed. Her back was killing her. Reluctantly, Dorcas walked into the kitchen, but her mood brightened considerably when she saw a big cup of steaming coffee in front of her. James was grinning at her while he was bouncing Harry on his knees. Though Lily pursed her lips glaring at her friend. Sirius avoided looking at her this morning, for which Dorcas was grateful.

Once Remus arrived, the group decided they wouldn't want to keep Harry waiting any longer. Soon enough, tons of wrapping paper was lying around in the living-room. Everyone was laughing as Harry tried to rip the wrapping on a present. When Dorcas opened Sirius' gift, she gasped. The box contained a silver necklace with a beautiful silver unicorn-pendant that was pearled at the horn and the hooves.

"You like it?", Sirius asked shyly.

"Are you mad? This is the most gorgeous necklace I have ever seen!", Dorcas exclaimed and flung herself at Sirius hugging him and momentarily forgetting about last night. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Sirius grinned from ear to ear and hugged her back.

"You are mostly welcome. Want me to put it on you?"

Dorcas nodded and pulled her hair up to make it easier for him. After the clasp fastened, she turned around and smiled widely at him. "It's really beautiful, Sirius."

After a huge meal for lunch, where Dorcas shortly wondered how she managed to eat like Sirius and James, the friends bid each other farewell. Lily hugged Dorcas tightly and whispered into her ear, "I got you another present, but I didn't think you would have wanted to open it in front of everyone, so I sent it to your flat.". Dorcas nodded her thanks and stepped into the flames to return to her flat.

Immediately Dorcas saw Lily's present and removed the wrapping. A bunch of pink baby-rompers appeared complete with caps and bibs. Lily had also added a small photo album.

Dorcas gently touched the fabric of the clothes, tears slowly running down her face.

"Thank you, Lily."

* * *

Now, those were really great Christmas presents, weren't they? Anyway, leave a review and tell me what you think. Update will probably be next week (Wednesday or Thursday). 


	11. Sleepless

Disclaimer: My biggest wish for my birthday is to own Harry Potter! I have to wait until Thursday, until then NO, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING YOU RECOGNIZE

A/N: I only got 4 reviews for my last chapter :-(. Thanks to **DementedLeaf, amrawo, AnneRG** and **moscardini **thoughfor reviewing. You guys rock!! This is not my best chapter, but I had to study for an oral exam, so it's the best I could come up with. Anyway, my birthday is on Thursday (Feb. 21st), so I'm expecting **a lot of** reviews!!!!

Sleepless 

After the kissing incident on Christmas, Dorcas started to avoid Sirius again. She spent New Year's Eve alone, turning Sirius' offer of partying down. She had a hunch that he would've tried to get her drunk and than get into her pants – again. She actually fell asleep before midnight.

In the middle of January however, sleep didn't come easily for Dorcas anymore. She just couldn't find a position she could sleep in for more than an hour. She would run around her flat trying to find something to occupy her mind. Re-reading almost every book she owned didn't help, neither did cleaning every square inch of her flat. Only in the early hours of the morning, she would fall into a restless sleep. It was very hard for Dorcas not to drink vast amounts of coffee to keep herself awake at work.

Healer Riley wanted to send her on maternity leave, but Dorcas didn't want the head of her department to know of her condition, because then Sirius or James would surely find out. Thus, she made up some illness that would force her to stay at home from the beginning of February on. When her baby was born, Dorcas would take unpaid leave for a while.

* * *

Sirius was having sleeping problems on his own. His mind was occupied with Dorcas. During the day, he was trying to find a way to win her over. At night, his dreams were taking a naughty turn and usually featured a very naked Dorcas. And it didn't help, that Dorcas seemed to avoid him at all costs. Maybe the kiss hadn't been such a good idea, he mused, but it had felt so good and so right and she had been kissing him back. 

Thus, Sirius had happily agreed to a spying-mission for the Order together with James. They were supposed to follow Antonin Dolohov.

On a cold January night, James and Sirius were sitting on a tree in front of Malfoy Manor, where a Death Eater meeting took place and were waiting for Dolohov to leave. The Death Eaters had also put anti-apparation charms on their meeting places.

"I can't believe Harry is already six months old.", James said dreamily. "Yesterday, he was sitting in his high-chair and then he threw everything he could get his hands on to the floor and whined like 'Daddy, get it back up.' It was hilarious."

"And you can really get excited about that?", Sirius asked looking amused at his friend.

"I'm a dad.", James answered giving a lopsided grin in return. "Of course I'm excited when my son makes progresses."

Sirius only shook his head.

"You know,", James said slyly. "you should try it out, being a dad."

"I wouldn't mind.", Sirius replied. "But first I have to get the right girl."

"I thought you found her?", his friend asked.

"I just don't get ahead with Dorcas.", Sirius sighed looking at James gloomily. "The mistletoe seemed like a great idea and the kiss was amazing. I really had the feeling there was some spark between us, you know? And I'm sure she felt it, too. And then, she said that we're only friends. Help me, Prongs!"

"Maybe she just needs time, Padfoot."; James patted his back. "She is so used to you two being friends, that it might take a while for her to become aware of her feelings."

"Since when did you become an expert in relationship issues?"; Sirius looked at him unbelievingly. "Though what you say, kind of makes sense."

"It took me six years to get Lily, so I do understand the female mind. At least, a little bit.", James chuckled at the last part. "The necklace for Christmas was already a good sign to show your affection."

"I hope so. Did cost me enough, didn't it?", a dreamy look crossed Sirius's face. "She tasted like vanilla and cinnamon."

James rolled his eyes, though Sirius noticed that.

"Hey.", he pouted. " I had to put up with your antics when it came to Lily. Now you see what your friends went through all these years."

"I'm not saying anything. But make sure that I'll be best man at your wedding."

For a while both didn't say anything, watching the Manor intensely. Sirius imagined Dorcas with a white wedding dress and a veil in her hair. He groaned in exasperation. That woman was driving him insane.

In the early hours of the morning, James and Sirius left their post and returned home. This had been a very unsuccessful night. Dolohov obviously stayed at Malfoy Manor and now their shift was over and another Order member would take over.

Sirius flopped down onto his bed and fell asleep instantly. Images of Dorcas flowed into his mind and filled his dreams, once again.

* * *

During February, Dorcas didn't use the concealment-charm anymore. She was now on maternity leave and was stuck in her flat. Her huge belly almost gave her a heart-attack, when the charm wore off. She also had a couple of premonitory pains. But according to Lily's books that was totally normal and a sign that her body was preparing to give birth. That's what was scaring Dorcas beyond everything else – the birth. Lily promised her that she would stay with her, but Dorcas still felt anxious. 

Trying to take her mind off, Dorcas re-checked her hospital-bag for the 100th time. She had her nightgowns, a couple of rompers for her baby, the maternity card and the paper with the name she had picked for her baby.

Dorcas sighed and slowly sat back down on the couch rubbing her belly.

"Don't you want to come out, honey?", she mumbled shifting around trying to find a comfortable position.

Lily and Harry stayed with her most of the time when James was working, but it was evening now and they had already left.

Dorcas got up again feeling the need to pee very urgently. That was another thing that bugged her. It seemed as soon she had settled down somewhere, the baby pressed on her bladder and she had to get up again, that alone taking almost five minutes.

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and a splash of water regorged over her feet.

"Bloody hell!"

* * *

Ooh, cliffhanger! When I'll update again, depends totally your reviews! 


	12. A New Life

Disclaimer: I am not the brilliant J.K.Rowling, I'm only an average college student. Therefore, I don't own it.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the lovely reviews on the last chapter. This one is really long compared to the others. And I also apologise for not answering most of the reviews, but I'm at my parents' house at the moment and the internet here is really slow. But I'm back at college on Monday. Anyway, this was pretty hard to write. so be nice and tell me how I did.

A new life

Lily was sitting in her living-room, while James was upstairs trying to get Harry to sleep. Suddenly, a large unicorn-patronus appeared. Lily jerked up. That was Dorcas' sign that the baby was coming. She hurried upstairs.

"James.", she called and dropped her voice a bit when he emerged from the nursery putting his finger to his lips. "I have to floo over to Dorcas. She's not feeling well. I'll probably stay the whole night."

"Can I do something?". James asked looking concerned.

"You can help when you stay here and take care of Harry.", she smiled at him but cursed herself inwardly for lying to her husband. "I'm sure Dorcas will feel better in the morning."

"Alright, love.", James nodded. "Say hi from me. And I hope she feels better soon."

Before she stepped into the fire place, Lily glanced at the big grandfather's clock. It was shortly after six in the evening on the 20th of February. She sighed, mentally preparing herself for a long night.

* * *

A couple of moments later, Lily stepped out of the fireplace in Dorcas' flat and saw her friend lying on the couch breathing deeply. 

"Lily!", Dorcas exclaimed. "I'm so glad you are here! My water broke!" She pointed to a part of the carpet where a large puddle was slowly drained.

"When did that happen?", Lily asked checking Dorcas' pulse.

"About 20 minutes ago. Then – ARGH – ", Dorcas yelled and squeezed Lily's hand when a contraction hit her. As fast as the pain came it disappeared again.

"That was only a foretaste.", Lily said helping Dorcas to get up. "The real ones are much more painful and they last longer."

"You certainly have a way to encourage me.", Dorcas replied sarcastically.

"Come on, we've got to get you to St. Mungo's as fast as possible.", Lily said slinging the hospital bag around her.

Dorcas nodded and together the walked slowly out of the flat.

"I'm going to take you side-along apparation.", Lily said linking arms with her friend. "That's much safer for both of you."

* * *

When they arrived in the hospital, they made their way to the welcomewitch. The reception area was empty apart from an old wizard with odd looking sprouts all over his face. 

"Good evening.", Lily said. "Is Healer Riley in?"

The witch behind the desk looked at a list in front of her and nodded.

"He just started his shift.", she said. "What can he do for you?"

"My water broke.", Dorcas answered supporting herself on the desk.

"I'll send for him at once.", the witch replied waving her wand in a complicated motion. Then she conjured a stretcher. "Please lie down."

Slowly and with Lily's help, Dorcas managed to lie down on the stretcher. Seconds later, Healer Riley arrived.

"Miss Meadowes, what's the matter?", he asked.

"My water broke.", she answered.

"How long ago?", he scribbled something on a clipboard.

"About half an hour ago.", she said and groaned in pain when she felt another contraction.

"Okay. Then let's get you to the maternity ward immediately.", Healer Riley tucked the clipboard away and levitated the stretcher. That way, they moved upstairs. Lily followed them. They reached an empty room and Healer Riley helped Dorcas getting on the bed.

"Are you staying, Mrs. Potter?", he asked Lily.

"Yes.", she answered and put the bag down and retrieved the important documents.

Healer Riley took the clipboard again and leafed through the maternity card.

"Okay, Miss Meadowes.", he said writing more down. "You are about five days early. But that's no problem. The baby is big enough and fully developed. I want you to change into the hospital gown now and then we can check how far the cervix opened yet."

He left the room and Lily helped Dorcas out of her clothes and put on the hospital gown. They had to stop half way through because of another contraction.

"Thanks for staying, Lily.", Dorcas said. "I really appreciate that."

"That's what friends are for.", Lily replied with a smile.

Healer Riley came back into the room and Dorcas layed back to let him check the progress.

"Two centimetres.", he said and wrote it down. "Not even an inch, yet. You have a long night ahead of you, Miss Meadowes."

Then he checked the baby's health with a few incantations.

"Well, your little girl is wide awake, which helps a lot and makes it easier for you.", he said. "Now, let's hope that the contractions will become more regular, otherwise I'll have to give you a contraction supporting potion. I'll check on you every hour or more often if you need me. You can also support the contractions by walking around or climbing stairs. But be sure that you won't do that alone. I can count on you, Mrs. Potter?"

Lily nodded and after Healer Riley left, she turned around to Dorcas.

"You up for a walk?"

Seven hours and five walks across the ward and up and down the stairs, Dorcas was sitting on her bed again, breathing herself through another contraction while Lily was rubbing her lower back. The contractions were coming every three minutes now and were getting more and more painful. The last time Healer Riley checked with her, the cervix was now seven centimetres wide and then the real birth would begin. Dorcas didn't even want to think about how painful that would be. She couldn't believe that some women considered that as the happiest day in their lives.

"I'm going to get a coffee.", Lily yawned and glanced at her watch. "Merlin, it's almost two."

Before Dorcas could ask for a coffee herself, Lily already left. But she couldn't call her friend back, because another contraction hit her. Finally, after Lily had returned and drunken her coffee, Dorcas reached the necessary eight centimetres and was moved into the delivery room.

Almost three hours later, Dorcas felt as if nothing had happened. The contractions were torture, but it seemed like the baby hadn't moved a single inch. She was lying on her side now and biting into a pillow to muffle her screams. Healer Riley assured her that the baby was turning around now and that could take a while.

Before long, however, Dorcas was on her back again and pushing and pressing with each new contraction. Now she was yelling and swearing, not caring if anyone heard her.

"I'LL KILL HIM!", she screamed. "I'LL HEX HIS BALLS OFF! I'LL CASTRATE HIM!!!"

Sirius Black was a dead man if she should ever get through this.

"Okay.", healer Riley said. "The head is almost out. I want you to push very hard at the next contraction and only stop when I tell you."

The next contraction came and Dorcas was almost ready to take a Cruciatus instead of this. She was squeezing Lily's hand and creaming her head off.

"Stop!", Riley yelled.

She stopped although the contraction wasn't over yet. And suddenly the pain was gone and she heard a short crying that was getting louder. Dorcas flopped back into the pillows breathing heavily.

Healer Riley was holding a small baby and cut off the umbilical cord. He wrapped the baby into a fluffy towel wiping over the face and handed Dorcas her baby girl.

She took the small bundle and looked into her baby's face. It was slightly wrinkled and crumpled but the baby stopped screaming and was pursing her lips. She already had a bunch of black hair and when she slowly opened eyes, Dorcas saw that they were the same sparkling deep blue as hers. Though they were still unfocused, Dorcas had the feeling they were studying her. She brought a finger up to caress her baby's face carefully. The skin was unbelievably soft and she felt her heart exploding in joy. She had never seen something so beautiful.

"Hi. ", she whispered still stroking her baby face. "Hi there. I'm your mummy."

But then her voice broke and tears of happiness were running down her face. Soon, too soon for Dorcas' liking, healer Riley took hold of the baby again.

"I have to weigh and measure her.", he said when he saw the scandalised look on Dorcas' face. "then she'll get a bath and you can have her back, okay?"

"You did wonderfully.", Lily said giving her a hug. She also had tears in her eyes. Then she walked over to see the little girl. Healer Riley was finished measuring and weighing her and wrote it down on a official looking piece of parchment.

"20 ½ inches long and 7.2 lbs.", he announced. "And she is perfectly healthy. Now, what's her name supposed to be? Although you can think that over. And I would also need the father's name for the birth certificate."

"This is all confidential, right?", Dorcas asked. Riley nodded.

"Alright. Er – the father's name is – er – Sirius Orion Black.", she concluded quietly.

Riley raised his eyebrows in surprise but didn't say anything.Although Dorcas could imagine what he was think and she blushed at the thought.

"And the baby's name?", he asked.

"Iphigenia Loreley – Black."

She couldn't really explain why she chose Sirius' last name but somehow it felt right. He was the father after all and in due time she would probably tell him. But for now she just wanted to enjoy the time with her baby girl.

When Lily heard the name, she rolled her eyes. The poor girl had to live with that pompous name now. Maybe she could convince her friend to use at least a nickname. But when she heard the name "Black", Lily was fairly surprised. Dorcas still hadn't told Sirius about the baby but gave Iphigenia his last name. Perhaps she was coming around. While Healer Riley was busy writing everything down, Lily took over the job of bathing and dressing the little girl. She wrapped her in a warm blanket and went back to her friend.

Dorcas took Iphigenia eagerly. She didn't look as crumpled anymore and her eyes were closed again. Her tiny nose waggled a bit as if she tried to smell for something.

All the pain from the exhausting labour was forgotten and she understood now, why many women thought of this moment as the happiest one in their lives. At this moment it didn't matter that Voldemort was out there killing innocent people. All that mattered was this little girl that was born in the midst of darkness and war. Hope was flickering in Dorcas. Her belief that they would eventually defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters was nourished again. And all because of a small baby sleeping contently in her arms. She would keep on fighting. For her daughter and a safer future.

* * *

so, I hope I did justice to the miracle of birth. And I didn't get the name from Gilmore girls. I will explain the names in the next chapter. If you want to read it, you know what to do 


	13. Baby Time

Disclaimer: My birthday passed and I still don't own Sirius or anyone else, you recognize - sigh - But I do own baby Iphigenia, yay

A/N: I guess 6 reviews are okay, but considering how long the last chapter was, it was not a whole lot. But anyways., thanks to those who did review. I really love you guys. I hope this is a bit of fluff, I'm not sure how it turned out. Leave a review for me!!!

**Baby Time**

"What's with the name?", Lily asked when Dorcas was moved into her room again.

"Which one?", Dorcas asked without taking her glance from her little girl.

"Actually, all three of them.", Lily couldn't keep her eyes from the baby either.

"Well, Iphigenia is a name from Greek Mythology. It means 'the strong-born' or 'born to strength'. She is my strength, you know?", Dorcas answered tears glistening in her eyes. "She is my reason to live and to keep fighting. And I've always loved those stories from the Greeks. As for Loreley, well you might remember that I went to Germany with my parents after 6th year. And there is this rock at the Rhine. It's so beautiful there when the sun is setting. And this rock is called Loreley. I think there's also an old German tale of a beautiful maiden named Loreley."

"Isn't that the one who lured the boatsmen to their fates with her looks and her voice?", Lily asked thinking back to a book she read.

"Yeah, but that's totally beside the point.", Dorcas argued. "I just love that place. And maybe one day I'll be able to visit it with her."

"Why did you give her Sirius last name?", Lily asked looking curious.

Dorcas bit her lower lip and continued nursing Iphigenia.

"She is his daughter.", she finally said quietly. "I really don't know why but it just felt right. And besides, that name doesn't go with Meadowes.", she concluded with a sly grin.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Well, I better get back home.", she yawned. "It's after eight already. I might check with you this afternoon, depending on how I awake I am."

Dorcas took her hand.

"Thank you for everything, Lily. I know you were, still are, mad at me for not telling Sirius, but still you were always there for me. I really don't know how I can make up for that.", she said tears slowly falling down her face.

Lily smiled and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Be a good mom for your little girl.", she said turning to leave. But she stopped before she left the room. "And tell Sirius!"

Dorcas chuckled lightly and turned her attention back to Iphigenia.

"Hey Iphigenia.", she kissed her baby's face taking in the unique baby scent. "Should I tell your daddy about you?"

Iphigenia looked at her mother blinking her blue eyes.

**

* * *

**

Lily arrived back home a couple of minutes later.

"There you are!", James exclaimed clearly looking relieved while he tried to feed Harry breakfast. "I was about to go to Dorcas and get you back home myself."

"Don't you have to be at work?", she asked taking over the hard task to feed Harry and actually managing not to get spewed at with banana-slime.

"I took the morning off.", James answered cleaning his face.

"Thank Merlin!", Lily sighed. "I really need to sleep, at least until noon."

"So, Dorcas is feeling better?", he asked.

"Hm hm.", his wife answered occupying herself with Harry.

"That's good.", James took his son out of the highchair trying to get a burp out of him. "Now head off to bed. I hope you don't mind, but you look terrible."

"Sometimes I wonder why I married you.", Lily murmured against his lips.

* * *

After a couple of hours sleep, Dorcas had Iphigenia in her room again. It was definitely an advantage being a Meadowes otherwise she'd had to share with other moms and she really didn't want that. Iphigenia was sleeping right now, after another round of nursing although the breast milk would take a little bit to let-down. Dorcas found it highly uncomfortable.

Dorcas was lying on her side peering in the cradle where her daughter slept. She just couldn't get enough of watching her, when she pursed her lips or waggled her nose or her tiny fingers twitched. The soft black patch of hair was definitely Sirius' and maybe the full lips but Dorcas couldn't really tell yet.

Healer Riley had checked with her earlier to see if everything was alright and congratulated her again on her beautiful daughter.

Dorcas turned around on her back imagining what Iphigenia would look like in a couple of years. Those blue eyes and the black hair were a very interesting combination. The boys would probably fall all over her. She giggled at the though of Sirius telling them off. Hopefully this war is over soon, she thought, I want to have a proper family and don't want to hide and be scared that a Death Eater could come marching in.

In two days she would be released and then she would head to Brianna and Mark, who were already excited to see both of them. Dorcas still had to call them, since she would be coming a couple of days earlier.

Her daydreams were interrupted by a small whimper.

"What's the matter, honey?", Dorcas asked wrapping her fingers around Iphigenia's hand. Her daughter's blue eyes were open and she was opening and closing her mouth. "Okay, someone is hungry. Let's try to nurse you again."

* * *

Okay, how was that? I really appreciate reviews, but it would be nice if you told me what you like about this chapter, doesn't have to be long. And now press that little button down there!! You know you want to!! 


	14. Evy

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, baby Iphigenia and Brianna.

A/N: Thank you guys sooooooo much for the many reviews!! I know, last chapter was a little uneventful. Anyway, leave a review for me!

**Evy**

Lily had popped in the next day with Harry and big bunch of flowers, claiming that every new mum should have flowers. Harry had been looking curiously at Iphigenia and Lily had held him over the crib, so he could plant an open-mouthed toddler-kiss on the baby's cheek, which had left Harry giggling and Iphigenia continue sleeping.

After an emotional break-down on the third day, Dorcas was ready to be released on February 25th. Healer Riley was checking one last time on her and Iphigenia.

"Okay, Miss Meadowes. Your uterus has regressed quite nicely. The nursing works fine for you?", he asked. Dorcas nodded. "Very good. Your little girl is doing fine as well."

He smiled at her and signed the release papers.

"Do have any questions?", he asked.

"Yes.", Dorcas answered pocketing the papers. "I was wondering about long-distance apparation."

"Long-distance apparation?", Riley raised his eyebrows. "How long-distance exactly?"

"The US.", she replied. "Ohio."

"Well, she would come through it, but I would suggest to go and see a healer there immediately, because newborns have difficulties to calm down after an apparation.", he said flipping through a directory on his desk. Then he pulled out a small piece of parchment and wrote something down. "Here is the address of a Healer colleague of mine in Columbus. Please see him, when you arrive."

"Thank you very much.", Dorcas took the paper and got up. She had already tucked the birth certificate in bag. Iphigenia was wrapped tightly into a warm blanket and sleeping soundly.

* * *

When Dorcas arrived in her flat, she carefully placed Iphigenia in a cradle and hurried to the phone to call her cousin. A quick look on the clock told her that Brianna should be awake by now. And she wasn't mistaken. A couple of moments of waiting, a female voice answered.

"Anderson."

"Brianna? This is Dorcas.", she said.

"Dorcas? Okay, what are my favourite movies?"

Dorcas rolled her eyes. They had agreed on that question to make sure no imposter called. Although it seemed unlikely that a Death Eater would know how to use a telephone.

"The James Bond movies. But only the ones with Sean Connery."

"That's right. The one and true James Bond.", Brianna chuckled. "Alright, now we got that sorted, what brings you to call me so early in the morning?"

"Well, the baby came four days earlier and so I'm already out of the hospital. And I wondered if I could come today?"

"Sure thing. I can't wait to meet my little niece."

"Could you pick me up in Columbus? Because I have to see a Healer there.", Dorcas asked and pulled out the paper with the address.

"I can do that, no problem. I need about three hours with the car. And I also have a baby's safety seat. I only need the address where to pick you up."

Dorcas told her where to meet and they agreed on a time.

Then, she collected her and Iphigenia's clothes and put them into a large bag, which she charmed a lot smaller and lighter. That way it fit perfectly into her handbag. She had already written a letter before the birth to tell Dumbledore of a "family emergency" she had to attend to. Since Brianna was her only family left, she was sure he would understand. Dorcas watched the owl disappear with the letter feeling slightly queasy. Lily had absolutely refused to lie to Dumbledore and Dorcas wasn't so sure about that anymore either. She had stated in the letter that she would be there for about a month.

Dorcas slung her handbag around her shoulder and picked up Iphigenia, walking out of the apartment door. She took a deep breath and concentrated very hard on her destination and apparated with a loud crack.

* * *

Luckily, Dorcas arrived at exactly where she wanted to: the entrance area of Healer Madison's private practise. As predicted Iphigenia hadn't taken apparation very well and screamed at the top of her lungs. An elderly wizard in white robes stood at the front desk seeming to be engaged in a conversation with the witch sitting behind it. He looked up to see what caused the commotion.

"How can I help you, Miss?", he asked while Dorcas tried to calm down Iphigenia.

"Hello, I'm here to see Healer Madison.", she answered.

"I'm afraid you need an appointment.", the witch behind the desk replied.

"Oh.", Dorcas said looking crestfallen. "Healer Riley from St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries sent me."

"Riley?", the wizard asked beaming. "Why didn't you say that right away. Come on, I have time for you now, Miss."

With that he lead Dorcas and the still crying Iphigenia into one of the examination rooms.

"Did you just arrive here from London?", Healer Madison asked motioning for Dorcas to sit down.

"Yes.", she answered. "He said I should see you immediately, because of the long-distance apparation."

Healer Madison nodded and took Iphigenia to examine her. He waved his wand a couple of times and looked satisfied.

"When did you give birth?", he asked while Dorcas took the baby back into her arms.

"Four days ago.", she answered.

"She is perfectly healthy and the apparation didn't harm her. I'll give her a calming-potion though. It was especially developed for small babies."

After drinking a small portion, Iphigenia calmed down considerably. Healer Madison handed Dorcas the rest of the vial.

"Alright, you can always come if you have any questions. Just leave your name and address with Miss Summers at the front desk.", he said shaking her hand.

"Thank you very much, Healer Madison.", Dorcas replied making her way out of the room.

"And tell Healer Riley my greetings if you see him.", Madison said.

Dorcas nodded and after leaving her name at the front desk, she made her way out of the building. Outside a wave of cold air hit her and she was glad, that she had dressed Iphigenia warmly. Hoping Brianna found the address, Dorcas looked around. And on a parking lot next to the building, a young woman stood beside a silver car. Her auburn curls were half hidden beneath a blue woolen hat and the hazel eyes twinkled when she spotted Dorcas motioning for her to come.

"If that ain't my favorite cousin.", she grinned and gave Dorcas a hug and took hold of the baby immediately.

"Hello, Brianna. Nice to see you as well.", Dorcas laughed. "Is it always that cold here?"

"You calling that cold?", Brianna asked as they buckled Iphigenia into the baby's safety seat and both women got into that car. "You should have been here in January. We had 20 below. Fahrenheit, mind you."

Dorcas shook herself to get off the cold while Brianna turned on the heat in the car. They drove through a wintry Columbus. Dorcas looked out of the windows in awe. The last time she had been here was two years ago and a lot had changed since then. They left the city and drove through fields and smaller towns. Soon however, Dorcas fell asleep. The long-distance apparation had been exhausting and the time difference was taking its toll as well. She was woken by Brianna who pulled the car into a driveway.

"We're home.", she said cheerily. "Slept well?"

Dorcas nodded and stretched and rubbed her eyes. They got out of the car and Dorcas had time to look at the house. It was located at the outskirt of a small town with a large backyard. It was a yellow two-story house with an adjacent garage. Snow covered the roof and the trees in front of the house.

Inside, it looked very comfortable. Though it wasn't huge, it was cozy nonetheless.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?", Brianna asked as she made her way to the kitchen.

"You read my mind.", Dorcas grinned. Iphigenia was starting to cry again demanding something to drink herself.

A couple of minutes later, Dorcas and Brianna were sitting in the living room drinking coffee while Dorcas was nursing her daughter.

"What's her name, by the way?", Brianna asked.

"Iphigenia Loreley Black.", Dorcas answered taking a sip from her coffee.

"Oi!", Brianna exclaimed. "She needs a nickname."

"Why?", the blonde asked frowning at her cousin.

"I'm not calling her Iphigenia all the time.", Brianna replied. "And since I'll be taking care of her, I'll pick one."

She was sitting in silence for a few moments thinking, while Dorcas only shook her head. Suddenly, Brianna grinned from ear to ear.

"I've found one.", she said. "Evy."

"How are you going to spell that?", Dorcas asked knowing that her cousin would insist on the nickname.

"E-V-Y."

"But Iphigenia starts with an I and not an E.", she said.

"But otherwise it would be Ivy and the pronunciation is more important.", Brianna smiled smugly. "So, it's gonna be Evy."

Dorcas sighed. Brianna always had a way to convince her of doing things. Iphigenia was done drinking and Dorcas held her head over her shoulder to get a burp from her.

"Do like your new name, Evy?", Brianna asked pronouncing the nickname very clearly.

At that moment Iphigenia gave a loud burp. Now it was settled that Iphigenia would be called Evy from now on.

* * *

Okay, no Sirius-hunting in that one. But she will be looking for him, in one of the next chapters. For now, she'll enjoy the time with Evy. Tell me what you think. 


	15. Dreaming and Longing

Disclaimer: I only own Evy, Brianna and Marc. And the Plot. Everything else belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Hmpf! I only got 5 reviews for the last chapter, but over 100 hits. Actually I wanted to wait with this chapter until I got more reviews, but I'm feeling generous today. The next chapter is already written, so you know what to do. Thanks to all of my faithful reviewers, especially _AnneRG _and _moscardini_ who reviewed _every_ chapter!!!!!

**Dreaming and Longing**

After finishing the coffee, Brianna showed Dorcas her room. A big bed was standing in the middle and a cot next to it. On the left side of the room, Dorcas saw a changing table and rocking-chair. The covers as well as the curtains of the windows were of a sunny yellow colour.

"You can put Evy to sleep right away.", Brianna said and Dorcas layed her daughter into the cot. "This is a baby-phone.", Brianna explained. "We'll take the other one downstairs and then we can hear if she's sleeping or not." Dorcas nodded in understanding. "And here,", her cousin motioned towards the changing table. "Is a supply of diapers. So, you're all set."

"Thanks, Brianna. How did you get all of that stuff?", Dorcas asked.

"Mark and I are trying to get a baby ourselves.", Brianna answered looking sad now. "But it didn't work out yet. I've had one miscarriage and after that we decided we'd stop trying for a while."

"I'm so sorry.", Dorcas replied hugging her cousin tightly.

"It's alright.", Brianna shrugged. "I'm glad that Evy is here. That way we can see if we are ready for a child or not."

They walked back downstairs into the living-room and looked out of the window. It had started snowing again and the big flakes were dancing through the air.

"So,", Brianna began smiling again. "How did that little angel happen?"

"One-night-stand.", Dorcas answered blushing. "I was devastated because a cousin on my father's side died."

"And someone decided to comfort you?", Brianna grinned.

"Kind of.", Dorcas groaned. "We were friends and it wasn't supposed to happen."

"Are you guys still friends?"

"I don't know.", Dorcas looked at her cousin hopelessly. She stared out of the window again. "But let's talk about something else. What are you working as?"

"At the moment nothing.", Brianna answered. "After college I've worked in a nursery home. But they cut down on the jobs and, just my luck that I got fired. But that's alright. Mark just got promoted. So we don't have to worry about the money. And I have the time to care of Evy."

Later they went for a walk around the block, but hurried back inside because the snow fall got heavier. In the late afternoon, Mark returned from work. He greeted Dorcas with a big hug and she liked him from the first moment. He was tall and his messy honey-coloured hair resembled James'. He smiled broadly at Dorcas and his blue-grey eyes twinkled happily.

After dinner, Dorcas washed her daughter with a washcloth and dried her off carefully. Evy seemed to enjoy the treatment and looked very content. Afterwards they cuddled and Dorcas put Evy to bed, at least for the next couple of hours. This was a ritual to both of them for the next four weeks.

Then Dorcas would settle down in the living-room together with Brianna and Mark. A couple of days after arriving, Brianna brought up the topic of Evy's father.

"He doesn't know.", Dorcas mumbled sipping her tea.

"Are you serious?", Brianna looked at her incredulously. And Mark looked shocked as well.

"No, he is.", Dorcas replied from habit.

"Huh?", her cousin looked confused.

"His name is Sirius.", the blonde explained and Brianna had to suppress a giggle thinking about serious-Sirius jokes.

"You will tell him though, right?", she asked wearing an earnest expression again.

Dorcas bit her lip and nodded slowly but uncertainly.

"You have to!", Brianna exclaimed. "He has a right to know! She is his daughter!"

"I know.", Dorcas answered quietly. "I'm just scared of his reaction."

"You'll never know until you tell him.", Mark spoke for the first time. "The worst that could happen is that he doesn't want anything to do with Evy. And it wouldn't be much different than it is now, would it?"

Dorcas knew they were right.

"I don't want to scare you right now,", Brianna began. "But what's going to happen, when something happens to you? I mean with Evy?"

"I haven't really thought about that.", Dorcas said thoughtfully.

"And what about if, well you die, before you told this Sirius guy?", Mark asked carefully. "I mean, should we contact him or keep quiet?"

Dorcas was now thoroughly confused. She had never given any of that a thought. Brianna noticed the expression.

"Maybe you should sleep on that. You still have time to think that over."

Slowly, Dorcas made her way upstairs and watched her daughter sleeping. The small mouth was slightly opened and Dorcas couldn't help but smile at the sight. She wanted to see Evy grow up but she knew that the chances of dying during the war was fairly high.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sirius wondered at an Order meeting where Dorcas was. James had told him that she had been sick, but according to Lily she had felt better. So, why wasn't she attending the meeting? He couldn't ask Lily, because she was at home taking care of Harry. But maybe, Dumbledore knew something. After the meeting he had the chance to talk to his old Headmaster. 

"I was wondering if you knew where Dorcas is.", Sirius asked. "I haven't heard from her in a while and I'm starting to get worried."

Dumbledore looked at him intensively.

"She didn't tell you? Dorcas wrote me a letter a week ago, saying she had a family emergency and is currently staying at her cousin's place in the US."

"No, she didn't tell me.", Sirius looked crestfallen.

"But she did write that she would be coming back in approximately three weeks.", Dumbledore continued.

"Thanks.", Sirius replied and made his way home. He really hoped that James was right about Dorcas having to realize her feelings for him, because he was going insane without her.

* * *

_He ran his fingers over her arms leaving goosebumps across her skin. His mouth was pressed against hers, his tongue traced along her lip begging for entrance which she happily granted him. Their tongues were swirling around passionately. _

_One of his hands was cupping her face running his thumb across her cheek. The other one ran down her side resting on her hip pulling her closer._

_Her hands were entangled in his soft hair. She didn't want to let go. This was feeling far too good. She never wanted to kiss other lips again._

_Slowly, he pulled off her shirt leaving her lips for a mere second._

_She gazed into his grey eyes that were dark with emotion._

_Their lips were back together, his hands roaming her body. She couldn't help but moaning, when his lips found their way to her neck and he began sucking on that delicate spot._

"_Sirius…"_

Evy's crying brought Dorcas out of her dream. It took her a couple of moments to realize that it had only been a dream. While she nursed her daughter sitting in the rocking-chair, Dorcas thought about the dream again. It was the third time in one week that she had been dreaming about Sirius. The last time the dream had gone all the way and left her thinking about her feelings towards Sirius and the other way around the whole day.

This is getting ridiculous, she thought, it's not like he's in love with me.

But then her thoughts were wandering again: the necklace he bought her for Christmas, the kiss under the mistletoe, his eyes so full of emotion…

And it hit her. Sirius was in love with her.

* * *

So, what do you think? As I already said, the next chapter is already written and it depends entirely on your reviews! Maybe I should give you a little teaser on the next chapter? 

_"Why don't you admit it? You are madly in love with him!"_


	16. I don't want to miss a thing

Disclaimer: The only characters I own are Brianna and Evy. And the plot. J.K. Rowling owns everything else. The title belongs to Aerosmith

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the amazing 9 reviews on the last chapter. I was thrilled!!! Thank you. As promised here is the next chapter.

**I don't want to miss a thing**

The next day, Dorcas talked with Brianna about her realization. Her cousin looked at her thoughtfully.

"And how do you feel about him?", she finally asked.

"I really don't know.", Dorcas sighed. "I'm totally confused."

"Well, you obviously like more than a friend, because otherwise you wouldn't have sex-dreams about him.", Brianna pointed out.

"I guess so.", Dorcas admitted reluctantly. "I just never saw him as a potential lover."

"Do you have a picture of him?", Brianna suddenly asked.

"Er, yeah, I think so.", Dorcas replied and went to her room to snatch a picture of her, Lily, James and Sirius at the Potter's wedding. She handed it to her cousin, who wolf-whistled.

"Not bad.", she grinned. "He looks quite hot."

"But you are married, so you can't have him.", Dorcas replied coldly.

"Are you jealous?", her cousin smiled smugly.

"I-I…of-of course not!", Dorcas stuttered.

"You are!", Brianna exclaimed. "Why don't you admit it? You are madly in love with him."

"This is insane.", Dorcas muttered, but inside of her she knew Brianna was right.

Her cousin decided to leave that topic. Dorcas was too stubborn for her own good.

"You are leaving next week.", Brianna stated.

"Yeah.", Dorcas replied looking pained. "I don't want to though. The very thought of leaving Evy is killing me. I mean, I know she's safe with you and you'll take good care of her."

"I know what you mean.", Brianna patted her shoulder. They both had enjoyed the past three weeks. Evy grew one and a half inches and just two nights ago, they had watched Evy smile in her sleep. It was amazing how much progress she made. "You can always come back if you want to."

"Thanks.", Dorcas smiled.

"Did you think about what we were talking about the other night?", Brianna asked looking concerned now.

Dorcas looked at her confused.

"What should we do if you die before you can tell Sirius?"

"I'm not sure.", Dorcas answered. "I mean it would be kind of hard for you to contact him."

"And what about Lily? I mean, she knows about Evy.", Brianna looked uncertain.

Dorcas groaned. Why the bloody hell was that so bloody complicated?

"She has your phone number.", she said. "I guess she'd call you and then you can figure something out. Look, can we just not talk about what happens if I die? Because that's not something I want to think about."

"I know.", Brianna replied. "I just want to make sure. With that war going on."

* * *

Sirius dragged himself into his flat. He stumbled to the shower, barely managing to get his clothes off. He let the hot water run over him cleansing himself of the dirt and the blood. 

Mere minutes ago, he had been fighting alongside dozens of aurors and half of the Order against the Death Eaters. They had managed to fight them off but had suffered massive losses. Four aurors and three young Order members who had just been out of Hogwarts were dead. Remus and Emmeline Vance were seriously injured and had been taken to St. Mungo's. Luckily full moon had just passed, so there was no need to worry about that.

This war was getting more and more vicious. It seemed as if the Death Eaters multiplied whereas the number of Order members and aurors sank all the time.

After showering for almost an hour, Sirius dragged himself to his bed and dropped down.

They really would have needed Dorcas tonight. She was one brilliant dueler.

Hopefully she's coming back soon, he thought, the Order needs her. I need her.

* * *

The next week passed far too quickly for Dorcas' liking. But she knew that she had to return to England. She had to fight. Voldemort was getting stronger with each day. And Brianna's words had left her thinking. What would happen if she didn't get the chance to tell Sirius? 

She pulled out a piece of parchment and took out a quill and began to write.

Ten minutes later she was finished. She put everything into an envelope and tucked it into her handbag. Then she made her way downstairs where Brianna was bottle-feeding Evy. They had decided to change to synthetic milk, on the one hand because Dorcas would leave and couldn't breast-feed her daughter anymore and on the other hand Dorcas didn't seem to have a lot of mother's milk left.

"Hey.", Brianna smiled at her cousin.

"Hey.", Dorcas replied. "Listen, erm, this is a key to my vault at Gringotts' in London. The Wizarding Bank.", she added noticing Brianna's confusion. "I have put it on a chain, so Evy can wear it as a necklace. And I would also like to put a couple of charms it, so only Evy can use it."

"Okay.", Brianna nodded and watched Dorcas putting the necklace around Evy's neck and muttering incantations and waving her wand.

Dorcas took hold of her daughter for the last time rocking Evy in her arms. Tears were running down her face.

"So, do you love him?", Brianna asked.

Dorcas didn't even need to ask whom her cousin meant. She had been thinking long and hard about that.

"Yeah.", she said quietly. "I really think I do."

"Then tell him everything.", Brianna smiled broadly at her cousin.

"Just, how should I do it?", Dorcas looked at her sceptically. "I mean, I can't just go to him and say,'Hey Sirius, by the way remember when we shagged? You kind of knocked me up!'"

"Well, that would be a start.", Brianna laughed.

"Not helping.", Dorcas groaned.

"You will find the right words. I know you will. So don't worry about it.", Brianna said reassuringly.

"I hope he can forgive me though for not telling him.", the blonde sighed kissing her daughter.

"If he really loves you, he will.", Brianna took hold of Evy again. "Come on, you have to go. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back."

Dorcas sighed and together they walked to the backdoor from where she would apparate back home. She turned around giving her daughter a last loving kiss, whispering "I love you, Evy. I always will.". then she faced her cousin again.

"You have the address of the Healer in Columbus and I gave you the birth certificate and-", Dorcas said but Brianna interrupted.

"I have your address and I will send you pictures. And Mark has a video camera and we'll tape everything.", she said hugging her cousin tightly. Dorcas nodded and moved to the porch.

"And the next time you show up, bring that sexy father of Evy with you.", she said smiling smugly.

Dorcas gave a stifled laugh that was mixed with crying and gave her cousin and her daughter one last look before disappearing with a crack.

Brianna sighed and walked back inside.

"Let's hope your mommy comes back soon.", she said looking into Evy's deep blue eyes that resembled the ones of her mother so much.

* * *

Oh, Dorcas is going back to England. What do you think? The 17th chapter is already finished, so you know what to do, right? 


	17. Kiss Me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. It belongs to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: I'm very disappointed of you, only 4 review. I'm only updating becauseI'm feeling generous todayand this chapter was already written. But I'll only update again if I'm satisfied with your reviews! Now enjoy!

**Kiss me**

Dorcas arrived in the hallway of her apartment building a couple of moments later and had to lean against the wall taking deep breaths. Slowly she made her way to her flat. It was already dark outside as she sat on the couch. Her heart seemed to burst apart when she saw the cradle. It had been only minutes, but to Dorcas it felt like weeks since leaving Evy. She didn't know how long she sat there staring out of the window into the nightly London.

Tomorrow I'll go to Sirius, Dorcas thought as curled up in her bed.

A smile crept to her face when she thought about how nice it would feel to lie here in Sirius' arms.

The next morning, Dorcas apparated to Sirius' flat. She stood outside the door for about ten minutes, then she turned around to leave.

This is stupid, she thought. But after a few steps down the hallway, she turned around again and went back to the door. I have to do it, she thought firmly. However, when she stood in front of it, Dorcas made her way down the hallway again, only to turn back a few moments later. She continued this a couple of times, until she stood in front of Sirius' door again.

Where is your Gryffindor courage?, she asked herself and firmly knocked on the door holding her breath.

"Who is it?", a voice asked from inside.

Dorcas frowned. That wasn't Sirius. The voice sounded like –

"James?", she asked. "Is that you?"

"Who is it?", the voice repeated. Dorcas was sure now that James was inside.

"Dorcas.", she answered.

"How do I know it's you?", James asked.

Dorcas thought a moment and then she smiled smugly.

"Well, James, you asked me on a date in sixth year to make Lily jealous. Only Lily hexed you quite badly for sexual harassment.", Dorcas answered.

The door flung open and James looked at her with a red face. That had been very embarrassing for him and only the three of them knew about it. James enveloped her in a big hug and smiled broadly. He ushered her inside and peered in the hallway to check if anyone else was there.

"I'm glad you're back.", he said after locking the door again. "You got a new haircut."

Dorcas fingered her hair. Brianna had decided to take her to a hairdresser and now her long hair was cut short to shoulder-length.

"What are you doing in Sirius' flat?", she asked curiously.

"Harry has the chicken-pox.", James answered. "Some muggle-illness that is dangerous for adults when they didn't have it as children. And apparently I didn't have it, but Lily did. Now I have to camp here until Harry is better."

Dorcas looked around. James seemed to sleep in the living-room on the pull-out couch.

"And where is Sirius?", she asked trying to sound nonchalantly.

"He is on an Order mission for a couple of weeks.", James answered looking at her curiously. "And why, if I may ask, do you want to see him?"

"Oh, no particular reason.", Dorcas replied. "Can't I visit a friend? Well, I better get going. Tell Lily I'm back."

James nodded and at the door they said good-bye and Dorcas apparated back to her flat. Inside she threw herself on her bed screaming into her pillow. That had been a complete waste of effort. Why did he have to be gone now? Couldn't he be gone some other time?

Over the next few weeks, Dorcas awaited Sirius' return anxiously at every Order meeting. But he was still gone. When she wasn't working or doing things for the Order, Dorcas would sit in her living-room looking at the pictures Brianna had sent. Every week she would get a letter with pictures of Evy and a detailed report from Brianna of how much progress Evy made, how much she slept and drank. Although the pictures weren't moving, Dorcas had the feeling that she was right there with her.

Then finally, in late April, Sirius was back.

The Order meeting was early in the morning and Dorcas arrived a little late. She looked around the room anxiously and then she saw him. His black hair was longer and he looked tired but satisfied nonetheless as he was talking to Dumbledore. A wave of relief washed over her. He turned around to see who arrived and his eyes lit up when he saw her and smiled broadly at her. She returned it shyly hoping to catch him afterwards.

The meeting started but Dorcas couldn't concentrate on it. She kept looking at Sirius, his eyes, his lips, his jawline. She simply couldn't take her eyes off him when he told everyone of his mission. Only now, she realized how much she missed him in the past months. Hopefully he hadn't moved on, she thought.

At last, the meeting ended and everyone filed out of the room. Dorcas waited in the hallway for Sirius leaning against the wall. They met at Longbottom manor again. Sirius was one of the last to leave the room. His eyes were searching for hers and when their gazes met, Dorcas quickly looked down. When she looked back up, Sirius was standing right in front of her. She smiled coyly at him.

"You're back.", Sirius whispered. She could feel his breath on her skin making it tingle.

"Yeah.", Dorcas replied. She decided to stake everything on one chance. "I missed you."

Sirius looked around quickly. Next to them was a door that led into the kitchen. He yanked it open and pulled Dorcas inside with him. Before Dorcas could say anything, Sirius pressed his lips on hers shoving her against the door. She returned the kiss eagerly and threw her arms around his neck. Sirius' hands were on her waist, but soon traveled southward. Slowly he pushed her skirt higher while starting to suck on that delicate spot on Dorcas' neck which he knew was driving her mad.

"Sirius…", she managed to breathe. "…Not…here…"

She could feel him smirk against her neck, but right now she didn't care.

He brought his face up again, his grey eyes staring into her blue ones. Then, he moved his lips to her ears.

"I love you.", he whispered so quietly that Dorcas wasn't even sure that he said it. But when she saw the sincerity in his eyes, she knew he meant it.

Slowly, she brought her lips to his ear in the same way he did and whispered, "I love you, too.".

As soon as she said this, Sirius kissed her again passionately. After a while, the need of oxygen forced them to pull away. His hands were entangled in her hair and their foreheads were touching.

"Your place or mine?", Sirius asked panting.

"We need to talk.", Dorcas replied. "About us."

"What's there to talk?", he asked his lips brushing hers again. "I love you and you love me. What's there to talk about?"

"Please?", she asked putting her hand to his mouth to prevent him from kissing her again.

"Alright.", he sighed starting to kiss her fingers.

"How about tonight?", she suggested. "Then you can sleep a little, because you really look tired."

"Care to join me?", he asked smirking. "I'm sure I can sleep better with you."

"No.", Dorcas replied. "Because then you wouldn't get to sleep at all. But if you behave, maybe we can do that tonight."

Sirius smirked capturing her lips again.

Dorcas felt her knees go weak and her heart flutter at this kiss. It wasn't passionate or longing, but sweet and loving.

"See you at six?", he mumbled against her lips. "I'll make dinner."

"You can cook?", she asked surprised.

"I'm full of surprises.", he smirked.

"Okay.", Dorcas smiled. "See you at six."

She pulled him into a fierce kiss again to which he responded eagerly.

Moments later they got out of the kitchen.

"I like your new haircut.", Sirius said as they walked out of the house. "And by the way, you are one great snogger, Meadowes."

Dorcas turned around to him smirking.

"Not bad yourself, Black.", she replied smugly.

Sirius laughed and gave her another kiss.

"See you tonight."

Dorcas smiled and apparated to her flat. She closed the door and leaned against it. Tonight she would tell him everything.

* * *

So, did you like it? This story is coming to an end, 2 more chapters and an epilogue. If you want to read the next chapter quickly, you better review, I've already finished it and I can promise you it's exciting! 


	18. The Bitter End

Disclaimer: The title belongs to Placebo and everything else you recognize belongs to J.k. Rowling.

A/N: You guys are so amazing! Thank you so much for the 12 reviews! It was actually a lot of writing the last one. But this one was rather hard. I hope I won't disappoint you, though I probably will.

**The Bitter End**

In the following hours, Dorcas occupied herself with cleaning her flat. She collected all of the letters and pictures that Brianna had sent her and put them into a wooden box that she had gotten for her last birthday from her mother. It was made of dark wood and had a beautiful ornament-carving on the lid. She also put the letter for Sirius inside.

I won't need it anymore, Dorcas thought happily.

She closed the box and set it on the table. Later she would take it to Gringotts and put it in her vault.

Until lunch-time, Dorcas continued cleaning and tidying everything stopping from time to time to think about Sirius and his love declaration and especially their amazing snog in the kitchen. She felt giddy when she thought about it. Maybe she should've accepted his offer to sleep with him. She shook her head trying to get the naughty thoughts out of her head. They could do that tonight.

If he can forgive me, Dorcas thought panic-stricken. Taking deep breaths, she remembered what Brianna had said.

The trip to Gringotts was rather exhausting. She had to go through various security-checks and had to wait over an hour until she finally got to go to her vault. Carefully, Dorcas placed the box in the right corner and looked around. A considerable amount of gold was piled in the middle, the whole heritage of the Meadowes family. Also Dorcas' dresses were stored here. The time for fanciful society gatherings was over.

The afternoon passed too slowly for Dorcas' liking. She was tempted to go over to him earlier but could contain herself. She picked her outfit carefully. A midnight-blue dress that showed quite a bit of her cleavage. Though she wasn't nursing anymore, her boobs were still bigger than before the pregnancy.

When Dorcas was about to get changed, she received a Patronus-message from Gideon Prewett, "Attack at St. Mungo's! Need help immediately!"

Dorcas groaned. Why did that have to happen now? But there was no point in arguing, she was on stand-by duty tonight.

She grabbed her wand hurrying out of the door and apparated to St. Mungo's.

Dorcas had to duck when she got to St. Mungo's. Curses were flying around everywhere and the entrance hall looked like a battle field. She tried to find someone from the Order and across the hall, she recognized Gideon's ginger hair.

Slowly, she made her way over ducking various curses on the way. Gideon pulled her behind a desk.

"What's the situation?", Dorcas asked.

"About twenty Death-Eaters.", Gideon replied. "We are only seven Order members at the moment. No aurors available right now. Trying to contact as many Order members as possible."

Dorcas nodded. They were outnumbered yet again.

"Can you take those over there?", Gideon asked.

She looked in the direction he pointed. Marlene McKinnon had trouble keeping four Death-Eaters at bay. Quickly she made her way over and sent one of the Death-Eaters crashing into the wall. 

The attention was now on her. Marlene looked relieved to see her. 

Two of the Death-Eaters were attacking her now. But Dorcas had no problem fighting back. Those two were obviously new recruits and not experienced in dueling. With a couple of well aimed stunning spells they were out cold.

But it seemed that more Death-Eaters were arriving and Dorcas dashed off to another corner to fight. 

She didn't know how long she had been fighting and shooting curses and spells at the Death-Eaters in front of her. Sometime, James had appeared yelling at her to be careful before being caught in a vicious duel.

After another lenghty duel with a Death-Eater that had carried her to a secluded part of the entrance hall, she took her time to catch her breath and look around. James was still caught in a duel with Dolohov jets of light shooting all over. Next to her, a young witch was lying. Dorcas knelt beside her. But there was nothing she could do. She was dead.

"Mourning your friends?", a high, cold voice snarled.

Dorcas froze. She knew that voice. She had heard it once before and wasn't keen on hearing it again. Slowly she turned around and came face to face with Voldemort. His face was white and snakelike and his scarlett eyes were staring at her. His lips were curled into a cruel smile. She stood up not wanting to be below him.

"Meadowes.", he recognized her. "Your father was foolish enough to marry that mudblood and disgraced the family name."

Dorcas didn't reply though inside she was boiling. She knew he wanted to wind her up by insulting her parents.

"You are the last Meadowes. And tonight I will kill you.", Voldemort said softly cruel.

She knew he was right. There was no way she would win a duel against him. Her only hope was that someone, preferably Dumbledore, would come to distract him.

He shot a spell at her but she was prepared for it and could reflect it. Within seconds a duel ensued between them.

Dorcas had to back away with each curse Voldemort shot at her. They were hard to reflect and Voldemort shot them so fast at her that she hardly had time to shoot one herself. And those were reflected easily by him.

"You've held up well.", Voldemort said halting his curses. 

Dorcas was panting trying to catch her breath. She looked him into the eyes and she knew it was over.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!", Voldemort cried.

The jet of green light hit her square in the chest and she fell down like a puppet. Her blue eyes were widened in horror.

Never would she see her daughter again.

Never kiss Sirius again.

Never laugh with Lily and James again.

Dorcas Meadowes was dead. Killed by Lord Voldemort.

* * *

Please don't kill me! If you've read Order of the Phoenix then you know why this had to happen. And review! the next chapter is finished and waits to be posted! 


	19. Almost Lover

Disclaimer: I only own the plot. The characters belong to J.K.Rowling. the title belongs to A Fine Frenzy.

A/N: Wow, you guys took Dorcas' death pretty hard. I've kind of gotten used to her, but honestly, I planned for her die when I started this story. So, well, there will be an epilogue. You know what you have to do, right?

**Almost Lover**

Sirius was standing in the kitchen studying the recipe in front of him. He was trying to make lasagna since he knew that Dorcas loved it. It wasn't as hard as he thought and was progressing quite nicely. While the lasagna spent some time in the oven, Sirius was setting the table. He had actually found a white tablecloth and a candle holder.

Humming and grinning, he prepared the table. Tonight would be perfect, he thought. They would have dinner and he would let Dorcas talk about whatever she wanted to and later they could continue what they started this morning.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Sirius looked at the clock. It was only half past five, so it couldn't be Dorcas.

"Who is it?", he asked.

"James.", the voice answered. "I suggested back in sixth year that you should transform permanently into a dog, but you refused because of the fleas."

"Come in, Prongs.", Sirius yelled while he went back into the kitchen to look at the lasagna. When he came back, he saw his friend standing in the living-room carrying obvious marks of fighting.

"What happened?", he asked concerned.

"There has been an attack at St. Mungo's", James answered looking pained.

"Is everyone okay?", Sirius wanted to know anxiously. "Lily and Harry and Remus?"

James nodded, tears were brimming in his eyes.

"Sirius, it's Dorcas.", he said quietly.

The glass that Sirius had been holding crashed on the floor. His heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds. He swallowed hard and without another word he grabbed his wand and hurried out of the flat ignoring James' yells and apparated to St. Mungo's.

Upon arriving, Sirius found himself in the ruins of what used to be the entrance hall of the Hospital. Bodies lay everywhere, the furniture was almost completely destroyed.

"Dorcas!", he screamed looking around feverishly. "Dorcas!"

He stumbled through the hall desperately trying to find her. He passed Gideon Prewett who was holding his left arm.

And then he saw her.

He ran as fast as he could to reach her. He fell on his knees next to her.

Dorcas's blue eyes were dull and staring into space. They were widened in horror and her mouth was slightly opened as if she had been trying to scream. A few gashes could be seen on her face. Her right hand was still holding her wand.

"Dorcas.", Sirius started to sob.

He took her head into his arms rocking back and forth.

"No, no, no, no…", he cried. 

He caressed her hair and planted a kiss on her head. The tears were pouring down his face. But he didn't care if anyone saw him.

"Sirius.", a soft voice next to him said.

Sirius turned around and looked at James who knelt beside him and had put a hand on his friend's shoulder. 

"She…c-can't…b-be…d-d-dead…", Sirius sobbed. "S-she…w-was…o-okay…th-this…morning…"

"Who was it, James?", Albus Dumbledore appeared next to them.

"Voldemort.", James answered looking at his former headmaster. "They dueled. I was caught in another duel, otherwise I would have come over to help her. And after,", James took a deep breath. "He killed her, you arrived and Voldemort disappeared."

Dumbledore nodded and knelt down next to Sirius who was still crying and sobbing.

"Sirius.", he said softly. "You have to let go of her. There is nothing you can do."

Gently but firmly he pulled Sirius away from Dorcas' body. James hugged his best friend and couldn't help but cry himself. Dumbledore closed Dorcas' eyes and Sirius gave a howl. Those blue eyes would never look at him again.

James took Sirius side-along apparation to his flat. Once inside, they were met with smoke coming out of the kitchen. Sirius dropped down in the living-room while James hurried into the kitchen to get rid of the smoke. When he came back, his friend was still sitting on the floor sobbing.

"S-She…l-loved…m-m-me…", Sirius sobbed.

"Merlin.", James sighed and closed his eyes. He pulled Sirius up and pushed him into the bedroom. Out of one of his pockets, James took a vial and forced it down Sirius' throat. "That's a dreamless sleeping potion. Dumbledore gave it to me. I'll check on you tomorrow."

Sirius could barely nod before drifting off to sleep.

James took a deep breath before returning to Godric's Hollow.

"James!", Lily cried after he stepped through the door and flung herself at him. She looked at him and noticed his pained expression. "What's the matter?"

"Dorcas is dead.", he answered.

Lily started crying and buried her head in his chest. James wrapped his arms around his wife trying to soothe her.

* * *

Sirius woke up the next morning trying to figure out why he was lying on his bed with his clothes on. The events from the evening settled in quickly however and he buried his head in the pillow. A sharp pain hit his heart and all he could think about was Dorcas lying dead on the floor.

He continued lying on his bed for the rest of the day and the following one. Staring into nothingness, Sirius thought about what could have been if Dorcas hadn't been on duty tonight. When he actually brought himself to get up, he dragged himself into the kitchen rummaging through the cupboards. Finally, he found some firewhiskey and almost drained the whole bottle in order to dull the pain.

At the same time, Lily stood in Dorcas flat. She had taken the task to clean out her friend's flat. Remus had come to help her. Together they put picture albums and everything else valuable into boxes. Those would be moved to the vault at Gringotts. They were almost finished when Lily saw a note next to Dorcas' telephone. It was Brianna's number. 

She waited until Remus left and dialed. A female voice answered.

"This is Lily Potter.", she said uncertainly.

"Dorcas' friend?", Brianna asked.

"Yeah.", Lily replied. "Dorcas is…she is dead."

Lily could hear a strangled sob and felt the tears running down her face. "How is Iphigenia?", she asked.

"She's fine. Could hold her head yesterday for the first time on her own.", Brianna answered. "What's going to happen to her now?"

"I really don't know.", Lily replied truthfully.

"What about Sirius?", Brianna wanted to know.

"He isn't in any condition to take care of her.", Lily said quietly. James had told her that Sirius was sitting in flat not reacting to anything. "I guess it would be the best, if she could stay with you for now."

"Okay.", Brianna said. "Do you want my address in case something changes?"

Lily agreed and wrote it down promising to call or write if anything else should happen. When she returned home, she took Harry into her arms and held him close kissing the top of his head.

* * *

The funeral was held a day later on a graveyard in London. There was only a small group attending. Dumbledore held the funeral speech. Lily was clinging to James not able to hold back her tears. Because neither Lily nor Sirius had been capable, James had organised the funeral. He had picked a white marble grave stone and a secluded spot on the graveyard. Although the _Daily Prophet_ was anything but truthful these days, they had placed an obituary.

Sirius disappeared after the funeral. He went back to his flat to drink more Firewhiskey. It seemed to be the only thing to keep the tears at bay. He didn't even bother going to work or attend Order meetings anymore. 

Two months later, Dumbledore came to Lily and James. He told them that Voldemort had decided that Harry was more of a threat than Neville Longbottom. He also suggested that they should go into hiding, preferably with the Fidelius-charm.

James made his way to Sirius flat. Upon his knocking, he didn't get an answer. Slowly, he opened the door. He was met with a suffocating smell. He discovered Sirius sitting in the kitchen drinking Firewhiskey. His friend looked bad. His hair wasn't combed and he hadn't shaved in a long time. A lot of Firewhiskey bottles were lying on the ground and the smell of alcohol was lingering in the kitchen.

"Padfoot.", James said loudly 

Sirius looked at him with glazed eyes.

"Do you do anything besides drinking?", James asked picking up the bottles.

"She's dead, Prongs.", Sirius croaked. "She's dead and she's never coming back."

"I know. But we need you right now. Harry needs you."

When James said Harry's name, he had Sirius' full attention.

"Voldemort is after Harry.", James said with a pained expression. "And we need your help."

Sirius got up immediately swaying a bit and gripped James' shoulder.

"I'm here for you, mate.", he said.

They hugged and James felt tears in his eyes.

"I'm not losing Harry as well.", Sirius said. "I'll do anything I can to protect him."

Together they cleaned up Sirius' flat and went to Godric's Hollow to talk everything over. 

The next couple of months passed rather quickly. Sirius caught himself and took missions for the Order again. He also persuaded Lily and James to take Peter as Secret Keeper thinking that would be the perfect bluff and Voldemort would never suspect anything.

But that was a mistake.

On Halloween Voldemort killed Lily and James, but Harry survived. Sirius tried to get a hold of Peter who deceived him and killed twelve innocent muggles. Sirius was sent to Azkaban for a life sentence. The only thing that kept him sane was the fact that he knew he was innocent. Constantly images of Lily's and James' dead bodies flowed into his mind and Dorcas lying on the floor in St. Mungo's.

Sirius had lost everything that he loved.

* * *

Before you go complaining why Lily hadn't said anything, when Sirius was better, I want to remind you that Harry was in danger and all she could think about was his safety. I hope you understand that. And I've got a really cute epilogue for you. Yes Evy is in it, so review if you want to read it! 


	20. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Hey I actually own the characters in here, Mark, Brianna and Evy! Everything else you recognize doesn't belong to me, sadly.

A/N: So, here's the epilogue. I personally loved it. It was so much fun to write. I want to thank ALL of my reviewers so far! You guys really made writing this story much easier. And keep posted for the Sequel!

**Epilogue**

3 years later

It was a warm afternoon. The trees were in full bloom and birds could be heard. The sun was shining and only a couple of white clouds penetrated the otherwise clear blue sky. A small girl was crouching down picking flowers with her right hand. In her left was already a whole bunch of flowers.

"Evy!", a woman with auburn hair and hazel eyes called from the porch.

The little girl turned around and smiled broadly.

"Auntie.", she answered. "I have flowers."

Brianna laughed as her niece struggled to keep the bunch of flowers in her hand. Slowly, Evy got up and hurried to her aunt. Her black hair lay curly on her shoulders and her brilliant blue eyes sparkled with happiness. She was wearing a knee-length pink summer dress. Her shoes lay forgotten on the porch.

"Come on, let's give those flowers some water, shall we?", Brianna asked as she took the flowers from Evy's hand who nodded gleefully.

Inside, Brianna helped Evy washing her hands and put the flowers into a vase.

The little girl went back outside to get her shoes. When she came back into the house, a man with honey-coloured hair scooped her up and tickled her.

"Evy's got dirty feet.", Mark said wrinkling his nose, but Evy continued giggling. "Where were you to get such icky feet?"

"Outside.", Evy replied as Mark put her back down. "I got flowers."

Mark laughed and took her to the bathroom to wash her feet. But Evy fell into the bathtub and so she got a full bath. When they went back down, Evy dressed in her pajamas, Brianna had already prepared dinner and together they set down at the table.

After dinner, Brianna wrapped Evy into a warm blanket and they settled down on a bench in the backyard. From there they would always look at the stars. Evy snuggled into Brianna's arms.

"Auntie?", she asked. "Where is mommy?"

Brianna tensed. It was still hard for her to talk about her cousin. She looked into Evy's eyes that resembled Dorcas' so much. In fact, Evy looked like a little Dorcas, except for the hair and the lips.

"Is she in heaven?", Evy asked.

"Yeah.", Brianna answered tears brimming in her eyes. "Your mom is in heaven."

Evy turned her face towards the sky and seemed to be thinking. Then she blew a kiss to the stars and said, "Hi mommy." Then she faced her aunt again and asked, "And where is my daddy?"

Brianna took a deep breath. How should she explain to a three-year old that her father was in prison for killing twelve people?

"You know,", she began. "when you did something bad that I send you to your room so you can think about what you did?"

Evy nodded. Last week she had broken a crystal vase that her aunt was quite fond of.

"Well, your daddy did something very bad.", Brianna continued. "And now he has to spent a long time thinking over what he did."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes listening to the crickets. Then Mark came outside to put Evy to bed.

"We reading?", Evy asked her Uncle who nodded and smiled at her enthusiasm. 

A couple of weeks ago, Evy had started to read some easy words and so they practised every evening. Brianna had contacted one of the teachers at the local Elementary School to check if that was normal for a three-year old to be able to read. He had told her that Evy seemed to be very intelligent and they should support that.

Brianna sat on the bench for a bit more. She could hear Mark opening the window and Evy' voice carried out in the backyard. She looked at the sky.

"I hope you're proud of your daughter, Dorcas.", she whispered.

* * *

Awww, don't you just love Evy? I do. Anyway, review please! I'm currently working on 2 stories. One of them is the sequel and the other one is basically Dorcas telling Sirius about her pregnancy. So keep posted for those! 


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